What I Learned on the Forums This Week 19


After a nice week of vacation I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things. Rage levels maybe lower than average this week as a hangover from my very relaxing last week of not reading the Forums at all.

Ret players shit on themselves.

Sometimes all of the what the fuck can combine into a perfect storm on the forums. That happened this week. Someone necro-ed a thread that had one post in it about Danny Modesto playing in Lock and Load 2012 to put a link up to a video from the WTC practice weekend in Houston where Danny got bottom of one assassinated by Kreuger2. It’s an entertaining video and hardly representative of player skill. Shit happens. There was a link to another video of Rahn vs. Terminus posted later the details of which aren’t important. What is important is that Ret players proceeded to nit pick all of Danny’s moves and basically say he was a bad player. Not that they actually said that. Instead they strongly implied it and then when someone called these players out for being douchenozzles they claimed to never have said he was a bad player. He just played badly consistently. Totally different. Someone even complained that clearly the top tier players should be taking criticism from the general community to help improve their games. I know I always get valid and relevant tactical advice from the Forums. One guy even helped Danny Modesto learn by pointing out something he already knew. That’s how you help someone learn, by pointing out mistakes made in the heat of the moment that they already recognized were mistakes immediately after they happened. They couldn’t trust their own opinion until you confirmed it for them random internet dude. Extra hero points to the guy who said Danny was playing badly because he didn’t go for any of three less than 50% assassination runs with Rahn vs. Terminus. Well done buddy.

I don’t always go for dodgy assassinations but when I do, I choose Rahn.

Gargantuans are like two heavies but with different abilities!

So we all know that the Stormwall is two defenders taped to a cyclone which is why its amazing. However, did you know that the Woldwrath is just two Wold Guardians taped together but worse? I mean sure it has a different animus, is faster, has a higher pow and different abilities but other than all those things it’s basically the same. The Woldwrath is clearly over priced because of this since he should only be like 17 points. That’s less than 2 Wold Guardians for those of you playing at home. If he were 18 points he might be worth it. The extra abilities, which include a gun, are probably worth zero points. Certainly not worth 2 points. Don’t be absurd. For other ridiculous comparisons see: The Archangel is basically two Ravagores except with an entirely different gun, different melee ability and basically not in the slightest the same thing as two Ravagores so why make that comparison? The Archangel is clearly a Carnivean taped to a Seraph but with slightly better weapons, a shittier animus and one point more expensive. The Carnivean and Seraph are both heavies, though, and do you know what else is a Legion heavy? The Ravagore. In conclusion the Woldwrath is basically worse than two Ravagores.

Crusaders are bad because they aren’t a different ‘jack!

So Crusaders are obviously bad, right? Sure they’re only six points and have a P+S 18 weapon (before choir buff) so they basically kill anything they touch. Also ARM 19 and a respectable Damage Grid make them a pain to kill. Here’s the thing, though, they’re not Reckoners. Reckoners are obviously better and only cost two more points in your list and since all lists have that magical spare two points you should just upgrade your Crusader to a Reckoner. It’s a little unfortunate, really, that the Crusader has Animosity: Reckoner because if it didn’t you could build a list that took both of them in different roles. Sadly, you can’t, because Reckoner slept with Crusader’s best friend and things between them have been kind of weird ever since then. Maybe in Mark III, which is coming any day now, they’ll get over it and you can take them in the same list. Until then you should keep dropping all the Crusaders from your lists and replace them with things that are basically entirely different. Like a minimum unit of Bastions!

Who wouldn’t sleep with this piece of smoldering Machine sex?

Nayl is still terrible because of unlikely situation Y.

So here’s the situation. For some reason you have taken Nayl in your list because you’re a moron and you’ve put him in the center of your army. He is within 5” of an enemy heavy warbeast and within 6” of your caster. Why is your caster within 11” of the enemy heavy? Don’t ask stupid questions. Now your opponent on his turn activates all of his warbeasts, except the already mentioned heavy, and maxes them out on Fury doing stuff and leaves them all within 8” of your Warcaster. Then that heavy walks up to Nayl and two handed throws him into your caster killing him and stripping all the Fury from his warbeasts, totally helping him and not messing with his Fury load next turn because he also has another warbeast somewhere else he’s maxed out on Fury to have for next turn, and stripping your caster of all of his Focus. Your model now helped your opponent! Isn’t that model terrible? Sure you placed him in a stupid position and left yourself open to them exploiting this unlikely situation but what other thing could you have done? Could you have saved him for late game to run into their caster and make their turn super difficult as they had to deal with your cheap problem piece in a convoluted manner? That doesn’t make sense, why would you play Ret with tactics when you can Snipe, Feat, Go!?

Khador reclaimed by nature, a project by I-am-robot

We return to the reliably brilliant Miniatures and Modeling forum to check out a very cool custom theme for a Khadoran army. As the title says all of the models in this army will have be modeled as machinery, or individuals, who have fallen into disuse and are slowly being reclaimed by nature. So far all he has to show is green stuff work but it’s pretty impressive stuff. I can’t wait to see what it all looks like once it’s painted.

That’s all for this week! Tune in next week for probably more rage. Unless some crazy Gencon spoilers distract me but I’m sure someone will find a way to ruin them.


4 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 19

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