Man this has been a hectic week for me so we’re having a bit of a rush job this week. Apologies in advance as my usually appalling spell checking abilities will be even worse. Due to my busy schedule I didn’t get to read the Forums with the regularity that I usually do so I missed some great rage arguments you may have heard about. I missed some asshole calling Tom Guan, and all top players, cheaters with a reputation for palming dice and nudging tables for their advantage. The Mods got to it before I did, probably for the best, but that’s a thing that happened in case you also missed it. Below, however, we have the threads I did manage to read. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
Let’s merge some rules and reduce rules bloat!
Back-Swing and Cleave are basically the same rule, right? One requires you to kill a model to generate a second attack while the other always generates a second attack that may end up killing your own model but when we really break it down they both just grant a second attack. That’s the significant thing about them. This isn’t the only example of two very similar rules doing very similar things. We should probably just get rid of some of these rules and thus reduce the learning curve for newer players. Seriously can we just get rid of Back Swing entirely? The fact that the Great Bears keep killing each other is total bullshit and I’d really like it if these super hardcore Iron Fangs stopped doing that. I’d even accept Cleave, a demonstrably worse rule, so long as it got rid of this stupid interaction. Besides the subtleties of similar rules are not really worth keeping around. Tactical depth clearly is not present in the application of specific differences in specific rules, it is something else entirely. We should remove these differences and simplify the game so that newer players who obsessively memorize every rule in the game will have an easier time of it. Sure nothing will really change for newer players who just learn the rules for their opponents stuff when they sit down across the table from them and ask what that stuff does, but those guys suck anyway so screw ’em. We gotta target that Junior Mentat market, that’s where the real players lie.
What is a ‘Gun line’?
So you want to debate why the ‘gun line’ isn’t a prevalent tactic in Warmachine and Hordes do you? Well first you best define your meaning, bro. What do you mean by a ‘gun line’? You might think it’s obvious but a lot of people out there have very wrongheaded ideas about what constitutes this age old military tactic. See you might imagine ranks of soldiers in Napoleonic uniform standing tightly together with the front row kneeling to fire, but that’s wrong. That is a cavalry square, not a gun line man. Learn your fucking history. Gun lines are more spread out than that. This shit is super important to this discussion because obviously Warmachine was hugely inspired by historical Napoleonic wargames. Well, more accurately it was made as an alternative to those systems, hence the lack of a dedicated gun line tactic in the game. It’s a known fact that as a child Matt Wilson was bullied by Napoleonic wargamers and swore a demon blood vendetta against them. He knew that one day he would rise up and crush their hobby by making a new wargame for cool hip dudes in their twenties and thirties. This would change the hobby away from the elderly neck-bearded historical gamers resulting in them being left stranded and alone on a sea of emotional despair. Think about it man, MW started off working on a D&D supplement and the creators of D&D, Arneson and Gygax, were for a long time historical wargamers. He was getting to know his enemy, man. This shit is serious business. Or maybe there’s something going on with gun ranges and dynamic play experiences. Doesn’t sound likely.
Let’s Nerf Stationary, and make it Blind!
Stationary is too strong and obviously holding back Khador’s hopes of having an arc node so why not nerf it? We should nerf it to something more reasonable, like Blind on all models affected. That seems like it would be perfectly fine. See the Def debuff from Blind is a lot like the one from Stationary so Khador players would still get their accuracy buff while the opposing player will still get some kind of activation from their unit. It’s a win-win really. Sure you’d be giving Sorscha1 a better version of Morghoul2’s Mark I Feat, since her Control Area is bigger, but that Feat wasn’t so great and nobody ever really complained about it. Besides loads of things have changed since Mark I and while that doesn’t really include the rules for Blind that’s not really relevant. Replacing a clearly crazily over powered ability like Stationary with another, arguably more over powered, ability like Blind is totally a nerf. It could totally have other great knock on effects like seeing a drop off in the number of Colossals that see play because Blind on those guys is a million times better than Stationary, which they can’t be affected by. That would be good for the game. While some Khador players will disagree that this is something that would be good for the game at least we can all universally agree that Blind is demonstrably worse than Stationary and so it would one-hundred percent be a nerf. Stationary OP, Blind is fine.
Motherfucking Merc players need to learn their fluff!
You know what I object to with unreasonable enthusiasm? People suggesting that the Mangler should be part of a plastic kit chassy for Mercs. Not, as you might expect, because I think releasing any heavy warjack for Mercs is largely a waste due to the existence of Galleon and Earthbreaker. It’s not that at all. Instead I object because people suggesting it always think the Mangler should be combined with a warjack that is clearly of a different origin of manufacture. Seriously guys, go back and read your early Mark I fluff. It clearly shows that the Mangler was built by Magnus the Traitor and so it would make no sense for it to be on the same chassis as another warjack. People who argue that the Mangler should be combined with the Llaelese Toro, and who then ‘correct’ me by saying that the Toro is actually Ordic, fill me with psychotically deranged anger! If all of my models don’t match my idea of what the Fluff is like I will post very annoying comments in the Forums using text that is way too large! Do you hear me PP!? Listen to my demands!
Hero Thread: Doom and Gloom by Stephan Garmark
Despite the title this is actually a really productive thread. The OP, who is a player on the Danish WTC team, is having a hard time getting the most out of his Convergence and is asking for help. In response he gets a ton of useful information and there’s a great little discussion going on here about how to play Warmachine’s newest faction. It’s exactly the kind of thread the Forums should have more on. Check it out.
That’s all this week, thanks for reading!