What I Learned on the Forums This Week 55

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Apologies in advance for the slight late-ness of this article, I had meant to have it written last night but got distracted by some apple-pie flavoured moonshine. It was delicious. On the upside someone pointed out another thread I had missed in the meantime so this weeks installment will be slightly longer than usual! We’re all winners in the end is what I’m trying to say. I had a lovely vacation in Prague in case you were wondering. I didn’t even look at the Forums once over my week off and that was delightful. Also central European food is pretty tasty even if I’m pretty sure I can hear the sound of my arteries clogging as I eat it. Fried cheese is a glorious thing…. Anway, my food related ramblings aside let’s discuss a far more important topic: people saying shit on the internet.

Stormwall players aren’t really Cygnar players.

Let’s build us a Cygnar list together, shall we? It’s pretty simple, first we start with a Stormwall…wrong! If you put a Stormwall in your list before you pick your caster or other list elements you’re not a real Cygnar player, you’re a Stormwall player. You play the sub-faction of Stormwall that is totally a real thing and not something I made up to sound like a condescending douchebag on the internet. I don’t need to make up stupid things to sound like a condescending shitbag. I can do that all on my own. What’s important here is that real Cygnar players think through their lists completely and decide on what models to put in based on individual merit, they don’t just auto-include a model like the Stormwall. Those stupid Stormwall players are just taking a power piece and putting in their list because they foolishly think that will make them good. This is why Haley2 Double Wall was a thing, because Stormwall players thought power caster + power piece were all they needed to be good. Sure I probably include a Squire in all my lists as default but that’s different because following wrongheaded arguments on the internet to their logical conclusion is dumb and no one should do it. These Stormwall players are giving us real Cygnar players a bad name and that needs to stop! If we don’t decide who can and can’t have fun playing with toy soldiers and call themselves Cygnar players than there would be no law and order in the world. We are the gatekeepers!

Sexy pose and seen hanging around with lots of Stormwalls? Probably a Fake Cygnar Girl at heart.

Colossals are defeated by assassination!

Want some super secret tech that nobody else knows? The best way to beat a list with a colossal in it is to kill all the models in the list that aren’t a colossal and then assassinate. This is serious tech and don’t let any of the haters out there tell you otherwise. It works for me and one other dude so you know that this is legit. You don’t need any more in depth plan than ‘kill all the shit and win’, if you do than clearly this game isn’t for you. Want actual tactical tips instead of bullshit auto-winning ‘secrets’? Too bad! You’re not getting any of those here. It’s not like there are lists out there centered around their colossals either, where kill the support doesn’t actually stop them killing you. Especially not at 35 points, the points level being discussed in this thread, when the colossal is easily a third of the army. Discussing actual anti-colossal tactics is probably a waste of time anyway. It’s way better to discuss whether Stormwall/Earthbreaker/Galleon are broken or not and if there’s any way for [insert poor beleagured faction here] to actual beat a list that has one in it.

Let’s get rid of failed charges.

Charging your own models is the one thing in a game where pirates can turn trees into other pirates that I can’t quite suspend my disbelief about. Why would a warcaster charge his ally in the back? For extra movement while casting a spell? That’s hardly worth it. Being really drunk making you immune to knockdown? Totally fine. Charging your own model is that step too far. Clearly we should fix this so let’s have a discussion about what a better alternative would be. We could introduce a new type of advance thus adding extra rules bloat but that’s probably not worth it. Instead lets remove the penalty for failing a charge so now any model can advance an extra 3” and perform their extra actions with absolutely no penatly. Removing the price from charging your own model, that is usually killing the model in question, is definitely a fine change so that I don’t have to imagine a farcical scenario that bothers me conceptually. It’s not like this game has Soul devouring Trolls or anything, that would be unreasonable.

Dominar McButterpants prefers the version where everyone just get to advance 3 inches further.

Who’s afraid of Virginia Warpwolf?

The soldiers fighting in the Iron Kingdoms live in a world with undead, giant trolls, killer steam robots and dragons why would they be afraid of anything on the battle field? I don’t understand why they should have to make command checks when encountering these entities on the battle field when they are hardened veterans of wars and knew that they existed. Now, you might be saying that my examples are almost universally of things that don’t actually cause terror. Dire Trolls aren’t terrifying entities, most undead don’t cause Terror and very few warjacks do. The way that these things cause terror checks is usually by killing half of the squad, so now the question is why is it terrifying when a giant robot/Troll/swarm or undead kill half your friends in front of you? Most units suffer massive casualties every game, surely the bulk of Cygnar’s Trenchers are now hardened veterans after suffering through countless near total slaughters. At some point they should become immune to the death around them and no longer be subject to command checks. They could become some sort of Fearless….

Synergy on Wolds won’t be all that great.

Spoilers hit the internet this week with the news that Circle will be getting a warlock who can only take Wolds and will have the spell Synergy. Synergy sounds like it would be amazing in Hordes because the Fury mechanic is so strong even on mostly Fury 2-3 Wolds but is it really enough to overcome their inherent weaknesses? This guy is going to have to do a lot more for Wolds than just give them crazy accuracy/damage buffing potential to make them worth playing over Ghettorix or a Stalker. At minimum he’ll need Elemental Mastery so that they all get free charges and realistically he should get a point discount on all Wolds to make them affordable. Really what’s the point in playing Wolds with Synergy anyway? A warpwolf with Primal on it already hits accurately and cracks armour and as we all know the Frenzy is basically free Fury management. Extra durability on Wolds isn’t worth much, really, because their Def is so low and with the current high ARM meta everyone cracks all ARM forever trivially. Seriously, if you can’t just copy Griffon Spam into Hordes exactly the same as it is in Ret but with Fury what is even the point of having Synergy? Coming up with new and interesting ways to play with a spell is so passe, we just want to do what other factions are doing but in our chosen faction. The best Circle can really hope for from this is to get a +4/+4 chain for a Wold Guardian which makes him only as good as a Primal-ed warpwolf and if that’s all you get than what even is the point? You want me to be excited about this guy, give him Earthquake and Unearthly Rage. Maybe alternatively throw in a +1 Fury buff to all Wolds in his battle group, that might get me thinking. In summary, Wolds are bad and should feel bad.

Bonus points for everyone who has insisted that Megalith can’t be part of the discussion because he’s a character.

Hero Thread: New Iron Gauntlet Format and Gauntlet Rounds: Experience from Texas Games Con by rjc243

Ryan Chiriboga has done an excellent write up of the two Gauntlet Rounds he participated in from the first ever Iron Gauntlet tournament using the season 2 rules. It’s really interesting to see how a very good player thought about the new format and what he did to make it all the way to the final. Definitely worth a read.

That’s all for this week, thanks for reading!

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