What I Learned on the Forums This Week 54


Hello everyone! Back to back weeks of On The Forums this month because I’m away on vacation in Central Europe (that’s what we call it now, right?) next week so I won’t be publishing an article then. Rather than force you my most treasured fans to suffer through two weeks with no new article I’m rushing one out this week just for you. Life is a bit hectic as I’m trying to finish up work and get packed for my trip so expect more spelling/grammar errors in this article than usual as I have even less time/desire to proof read it than normal! What can I say, I’m a classy guy. I hope you enjoy this weeks edition and don’t say I never did anything for you!

Trollbloods means Revisionism.

Troll players have never disliked a model that has come out in the past. Our assessment of the quality of a model is always spot on immediately upon its release and there is no change of opinion ever. When the Mountain King came out everyone knew it was terrible and look, it’s still terrible. All accounts of negative opinions with regards to Warders, Grissel2 or Storm Trolls have been greatly exaggerated. Obviously people were just not supremely enthusiastic about those releases because we’re not pathetic PP fanbois who love everything that the company craps out. Nobody ever said Warders weren’t amazing because I can provide this link to someone who said they thought they were good. Grissel2 wasn’t ranked second worst ‘lock in the faction and considered largely not worth playing, that’s obviously madness. The current shit storm of negativity around Borka2 and Dozer is obviously not part of an endless cycle of bitching before eventual acceptance and then historical revisionism. You better waste hours of your life scrounging through awful cesspools of entitlement and bitching for proof if you want to bring these bullshit slanders against the fine upstanding members of the Trollblood community. It certainly doesn’t stretch all the way back into Mark I with initial hatred piling onto the Trollkin Champion Hero before he eventually became a mainstay in many lists. We’re still young and with it, no old codgers yelling at new and different things from our porches here. It’s just that Borka2 is obviously inferior to Maelok and we’re upset about that.

Doomy keeps a list of everyone who said he was shit on his scroll. He’ll get his revenge…eventually.

Dwarves should get Dwarf equivalents of what other Factions have!

Dwarves are really missing a few pieces for them to be able to properly compete. They could do with a few unit attachments of course but also they’re really lacking in the solo department. Maybe if they got some dwarf who played a giant Tuba and gave out Pathfinder, and Tough and maybe Fearless. They could call him ‘The Piper.’ That would be pretty sweet and fix a lot of Rhulic problems. Dwarves could also use a Novice Warcaster but he should probably be restricted to Dwarves, or at a stretch maybe Mercs even though I don’t like other factions having our stuff, because giving the Earthbreaker to dirty Mercnar players would be the worst. Also an Iron Fang Kovnik equivalent for Forge Guard and High Shields would be the best. Maybe throw in a Squire while we’re at it, we’ll even pay more points for it so long as it has a gun as well. An Arcanist wouldn’t go amiss either, that Power Booster would be sweet on Gun Bunnies. Just give us all the good stuff other factions have, maybe for a point extra, so that we can properly compete with our fluffy sub-faction.

Model quality is determined by democracy!

Bad models are bad, this is obvious right? We don’t need to sit down and discuss this tautological truth do we? You might think so but it turns out that some people insist that if a good player can compete with a model we shouldn’t call it bad but rather ‘difficult.’ This is clearly madness. Who cares if some big shot ‘top tier player’ type can compete with his peers while using Stormblades or some other similar shite model. That doesn’t make the model difficult to use, the model is bad and the player is good and they cancel each other out netting an acceptable neutral position. What should determine whether a model is good or bad is how the vast majority of players use and perceive that model. The wider public will determine the quality of a model. Now you might be thinking: what if a good player teaches everyone else how to use the model in question? Still not good enough to redeem the model, instead this player is simply hiding the true badness of the model behind a veneer of ‘winning games’ and ‘effective list design.’ Let’s take an overblown and nonsensical metaphor as proof. If you’re strong you don’t need tactics or martial arts or any of that wussy shit to win a fight. Those are the last refuge of the weak, the strong simply win because they are strong. That’s why body builders always win fights and martial artists are weaklings. Also Swords are weaker than Storm Glaives, that’s a core part of this argument for some reason. In conclusion, Stormblades are not bad models. Sure I may have insisted extensively in my original argument that they are bad and that we shouldn’t just call them difficult but I’ve had a last minute change of heart. Instead my point is that Stormblades aren’t good models for beginners because they’re too hard to use. Anyone who can use Stormblades clearly isn’t a beginner is my real point.


As a quasi-European I’m contractually obliged to post a picture of Storm Lances with the following: Totes Legit, l2p America.

This thread is about Trollbloods!

What faction do you think is the hardest to balance in the game? This is an interesting question and possibly one worthy of discussion. However, the OP mentioned Trollbloods and how the Forum community has been upset recently with their new releases. I think it was in the context of whether Trolls are a hard faction to balance but I’m not sure I care. Instead it’s time to extensively debate the merits of all recent Trollblood releases and whether they’ve been good or not. This will probably do a lot to disprove the general perception that Troll players are whining bastards. Certainly don’t let anyone put the thread back on topic by suggesting that Mercs or Minions might be hardest to balance since other factions can take their models so they have to fit into those factions as well. That would actually be the discussion the OP wanted. Instead it’s important that your rival poster from the Troll Forums not let their last point go unchallenged. Multi-quote and paragraph long responses is the only way to solve this argument! Quick throw counter points about what someone uses in tournaments in your local meta and why that means the model must be good! Now be sure to frame your disappointment in recent releases as an entirely personal reaction so that no one can challenge whether your correct in your assessment of their viability or not. This is mostly about low blows and pointless jabs rather than actual meaningful discussion. Most important of all: remember that all models released since Mark II are ‘recent releases’ even if they’re several years old and there has been two anthology books since they came out. Gunnbjorn is still recent and no we won’t get over how painfully mediocre he is!

Hero Thread: My Games at Lock and Load Masters and Iron Gauntlet by ChainAttackJay

As you may or may not know some scrub named Jay Larsen won the first ever Iron Gauntlet Championship at Lock and Load earlier this month playing pure Cygnar. You probably didn’t notice because Cygnar is a bad faction no one cares about and Jay is a podcast personality best left to his own ego-maniacal narcissism. While normally I’d recommend you trust your instincts in this matter in this case he has provided a nice write up of his games in both the Masters and Iron Gauntlet. They’re worth a read but be careful not to get trapped by his showbiz personality. You’ve been warned.

Thanks for reading!


3 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 54

  1. Bang on about the Trollbloods forum. I went visiting there to see what ideas were being generated about their upcoming models, then walked away while shaking my head at the negativity.

  2. The Cygnar thread about the stormblades made me start foaming at the mouth. It was one of the more irritating threads I’ve seen as of late.

    And yes, stormlances are totally underrated in the US.

  3. The troll forums should probably be quarantined at this point. The salt content is probably beyond safe consumable limits

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