What I Learned on the Forums This Week 52


Alright everybody we’re back and despite a new wave of possible spoilers hitting the internet the Forums have managed to not shit the bed too badly. Assuming the baseline levels of bed-shitting of course, they haven’t become a wondrous land of happiness and rainbows or anything. Let’s all be reasonable here. The new slightly more relaxed release schedule here so far is working out pretty well for me, I’m actually writing this ahead of schedule which is a new and exciting experience! Hopefully no new sudden explosions of internet rage happen between my writing this and my publication date. I’m sure if it does I’ll just throw in some comment here about it. I bet I can phrase it in the form of a Groucho Marx joke, that always seems to be the best way to handle these things. Something like “This morning I woke up and read a forum post in my pyjamas, how it got in my pyjamas I have no idea” or equally terrible. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Mark III needs to come because the current rules don’t follow logic

What’s up with Defense? Why do some things ignore it and why are all models equally susceptible to being pushed around except for those models that are immobile? Surely some models should be immune to attacks that ignore Defense because they are badasses, as represented by their higher Defense stat, while others would still be get hit. It just doesn’t make any sense right now. I think Eiryss shouldn’t be hit by attacks that automatically hit Butcher so we should introduce a whole new ruleset with extra complexity. Disprove that motherfuckers! While we’re on the subject, Reach doesn’t feel right to me. There should be an intermediary Reach stage so that there’s something between .5” and 2”. If there’s a natural gradient between the two stages I’ll feel better, add it to my stack of reasons to completely overhaul the game. Magic Attacks are confusing, do something to fix that. ‘Jack Marshals are bad, fix that rule too. Don’t even get me started on Infernals, if the rules were better written we probably wouldn’t need them so just write better fucking rules PP. God it’s not like this shit is even complicated. And don’t you dare suggest that “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” is a valid counterpoint. This one time I made soup without enough pepper and it would have been better with pepper so obviously everyone should have to buy a new Warmachine rulebook.

Warmachine needs a buff for Warjacks so it can shit on Hordes

You know what I’ve often felt? Haley2 really suffers from not being able to fuel her Stormwall while simultaneously casting all of her spells. She could do with another 5 free Focus. Don’t worry, she doesn’t get that 5 focus for whatever she wants. She has to allocate it to warjacks. That way we’ll see more warjacks on the table which is obviously the point of the game. Now I know what you might be thinking, Hordes should get something too since we’re buffing warjacks and warbeasts will now be inferior. Well I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Hordes is still perfectly fine and doesn’t need any sort of buff to deal with the sudden influx of trivially fueled warjacks. Hordes was already obviously better than Warmachine due to the Fury mechanic so it’s probably time for Warmachine to get its due. Hordes doesn’t need greater warbeast efficiency anyway so why should we give it to them? It’s important when considering game balance to ignore any of the possible repercussions of your suggestion at skewing the power level of the game and simply view it within the limits of your stated goal and perceptions. Besides if we use this as a replacement to Warjack points instead of an addition than it will be fine. Hordes will get more free points which will more than make up for the extra cost of Warbeasts who are now strictly inferior to their warjack counterparts. Sounds fine.

On the other hand, Warpath Damiano would be one step closer to actually being legit!

Legion is totally going to get a new Lesser Warlock!

Circle just saw a spoiler image for what is almost certainly going to be a new solo they’re getting in the next book. That means that a faction besides Legion is getting a solo so Legion could still be getting a new lesser warlock! Sure the lesser warlock would be getting released separately to all of the other lesser warlocks but that’s hardly important. Also consider this key piece of supporting evidence: the Nephilim Bloodseer was finally previewed on the front page of PP’s site. That’s supporting evidence for a Nephilim themed lesser warlock if I’ve ever seen it. Ain’t no proof like a probably coincidence. Never let the doubters get to you my brothers, stay strong and keep believing! Legion can be the Cygnar of Hordes if we hope and draw conclusions from dubious evidence. We can make this happen!

Cryx be up in our business stealin’ our Warcasters!

Cryx are damned dirty thieves and they had better keep their lichified (totally a word) hands off of Caine! PP just showed us a pin for Caine as a pistol wraith and that’s about as legit as spoiler hints get. PP is setting the stage for a new epic Caine where he switches faction and joins the stupid Nightmare Empire. This is some serious bullshit. There’s that saying: fool me once shame on you, fool me twice..well you won’t fool me again. This would be the third time Cryx has fooled Cygnar! That’s right, the third time. The first was obviously Deneghra who they so unfairly stole from us! Cygnar deserved both twins! Tose dragon-loving jerks got to keep their set of twins together how come Cygnar lost theirs? Then there’s Sturgis who went over to the Jerkmire Empire most recently! Cygnar’s losing warcasters they can’t afford and the OP faction is becoming even more OP. If Caine is the latest sacrifice on the altar of PP’s favorite faction I’ll be super mad and I’ll be sure to let them know on the internet where all opinions are equal.

Don’t even get me started on Mortenebra, they stole her from a faction that didn’t even exist yet! What pricks!

Hero Thread: And now for something completely different by menace

So we’re going to another cool conversion thread but I’m not actually 100% certain what’s going on with this one. I think it’s best described by one of the comments as Legion but with Dinobots and if that sounds interesting to you this should be your jam. Even if it doesn’t you kind of have to admire the weirdness, skill and execution of this army theme. The paint scheme is pretty badass as well, in my opinion at least. Check it out.

Thanks for reading!


4 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 52

  1. Aren’t there other pins of undead versions of casters like Zombie Sevy? I just thought it was a bit of fun mixing PP’s current hard-on for zombies with WM/H and the pins.

    • But everything PP does is part of some masterplan. The important thing here is that it’s a slap in the face to Pure Cygnar ™ players 🙂

  2. Well, I do love slapping Cygnar players. And Cryx. And fuck Hordes, those guys suck. Totally OP, that’s why they are dominating all the tournaments ever.

    Another good article sir. You complete me. 🙂

  3. I mean yeah some rules are kinda weak but good god everyone wants to make some crazy modifications. I’d just like to see a new Prime/Primal with all the infernal rulings/errata included personally so I don’t have to explain how some things come from a PP dude on a forum to some other guy at the table.

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