What I Learned on the Forums This Week 43


Hello reader, welcome back! First things first I’ve got a little announcement. There won’t be any On the Forums next week because it’s the last week before the Irish Masters and I’ll be too busy doing all the stuff I should have done weeks ago to be reading the Forums. With that out of the way we can get to the good stuff, the rambling madness of the Forums. This week wasn’t so bad given that we got the last wave of Vengeance spoilers out of the way and I think I only displaced a few keys on my keyboard through repeated head bashing. Frankly I expected worse. Maybe this is just the calm before the storm…

Considering Mercs a faction is dumb because Iron Gauntlet!

I know what you’re thinking, good reader, Mercs aren’t actually a faction they’re just a collection of sub factions with no crossover. You just pick one of those subfactions, maybe two if you’re feeling crazy, and play that while ignoring all releases outside of your chosen group because that’s just how Mercs are. It’s best to also express great displeasure when other groups get new releases because if PP doesn’t know you’re upset about your group not getting new models they won’t give you anything. What you might not be aware of is that there are people out there who don’t agree with us, they think that all of the groups that compose the pseudo-faction known as Mercenaries should be considered one single real faction. These guys are crazy right? If that were true where would we draw the line? Sure you can bring any selection of the Mercenary Contracts to a tournament as a list pairing but in Iron Gauntlet you can bring any pairing from any faction in the game so that’s basically a meaningless point. If we’re following these people’s crazy backwards logic surely we should consider all factions the same and you can’t complain if a book came out that didn’t have Khador releases because you could play Cygnar instead. Clearly this line of thinking is moronic and I am entirely correct in my assertion that Mercenaries getting a whole new contract in the form of the Cephalyx is a bad thing for the faction and I have every right to be a whinging little shit brain in every thread I can find.

Exulon Thexis won’t even be viable for Commander’s Crucible! This ‘faction’ is a farce!

Reach needs to be fixed because not everything has Reach!

So all of the real factions are getting new warjacks in this book but these new warjacks don’t all have Reach which means they’re basically unplayable. I know that they’re unplayable because people on the Forums have told me they are. This situation is unsustainable we either have to start costing Reach much higher or give it out to everybody so that it’s less of a ridiculous bonus to those warjacks who have it. The best way to fix this is probably by increasing the cost of new models released with Reach. That way we’ll get more overcosted warjacks that no one will play because they’re worse than whatever is already available which I think is good for the game. What I think the real takeaway from this is, though, is that snap decisions about models are definitely a great basis for widespread rules changes for the entire game. We can definitely conclude that Reach is undercosted because of a handful of models that haven’t even been released yet don’t have it and are clearly bad as a result of that. If you’re thinking otherwise just remember that the Reckoner exists therefore your argument is invalid.

Imperatus isn’t very survivable.

DEF 13 ARM 18 with possibly up to 51 boxes before he’s finally killed? What a pushover. We live in a post-colossal meta don’t you know and that means that every list anyone ever writes has the ability to trivially remove any model in the game regardless of how survivable it might appear. There is no such thing as survivable anymore that’s why everyone stopped playing colossals because everything killed them trivially. Imperatus is way easier to kill than a colossal, we know this because he has fewer boxes than a colossal. Sure he has substantially higher defense and a smaller base so fewer models can get into melee with him but those don’t seem like they’re important considerations. Everyone knows that all attacks hit and any Rube Goldberg system of getting models into melee is a success. What’s really disappointing is that Phoenix Protocol is probably a trap. You, like all good sensible folk, probably thought that Phoenix Protocol would let you bring back Imperatus from a wreck marker during your next Maintenance Phase because that’s perfectly fair and balanced. Having a Warjack that is just 100% immune to being killed in one round is fine, no biggie. The thing is, though, that you’re wrong and Phoenix Protocol is actually a pretty meh rule because it’s only like 15 or so extra hit points. That’s barely anything because we’re in a post-colossal meta you know. So in conclusion Imperatus is probably ok but I really wish I could guarantee getting one of my opponent’s heavies for free every time I brought him. Tactical play is for suckers.

We wanted an Apotheosis level warjack not Molik Karn, that guy blows.

Infernals are keyboard cowboys with no respect for the rules.

So an Infernal made a ruling recently that totally clashes with how I read the rule in question and rather than reflect on the possibility that I might be wrong I’m going to attack their understanding of the rules. Who are these so called Infernals anyway? What gives them the right to claim to know what’s the correct interpretation of the rules and what’s not? I once mostly read the rulebook and have a passing grasp of the English language so clearly I am way more qualified than these jerks to interpret the rules. It’s not like they have some kind of direct line of contact to the game devs and can get answers to rules questions directly from them. If that were true I would clearly be entirely wrong in my interpretation and I’d probably also be a raging asshole. Neither of those seems likely. It’s way more likely that they’re just trying to trick me into believing that terrain is some kind of abstraction that doesn’t require obviously important things like sloped sides or a height of greater than one inch. On top of their frankly backwards belief that playable terrain is more important than my weird obsession with the idea of this game being three dimensional, which does not apply to trenches literally having to go down into the table because I’m not unreasonable, they decided to nerf Deliverers! This oppression has to stop! We will not take their actual reasonable and intelligent interpretations of the rules lying down. We must rise up and throw off the chains of reasonable logical interpretation that these damnable monstrosities have forced upon us!

Hero Thread: Circle at Smogcon Masters by PG_RorinTh

This thread isn’t complete because RorinTh has promised more in depth battle reports in future but it has a brief overview of the events he played in before Masters as well as his 2-2 Masters run in the event. The reason I’m picking him out is that his three lists were Grayle, Mohsar and Baldur2. If there’s one thing I love it’s pretzels but if there’s a second thing I love it’s janky Circle lists with lesser played warlocks at the helm. I know I’m looking forward to his more in depth battle reports!

Hero Thread: HMS Griffon: Gun Carriage to Airship Conversion by eBadger

This is going to be a thread to watch kind of hero thread. The title sort of says it all but if you really want me to spell it out this guy is turning his Khador Gun Carriage into a steampunk airship complete with giant hot air balloon. It sounds freaking awesome. He’s still in the early stages but he’s got a clear plan and I’m going to be very interested to see how it develops.

That’s all for this week, thanks for reading!

9 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 43

  1. “If it’s spd 4 without Reach I’ll never play it”, is just code for “I’m a closed-minded eejit with the imagination of a turnip.”

    • Most of the forums regarding the new releases seem to have that closed minded, I don’t want to learn a new way to play mind set.

  2. Yay, my way to internet famedom has begun! ;).

    Thanks for nicely written articles (waiting for them each week…) and an honorable mention.

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