What I Learned on the Forums This Week: Templecon Special!

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Hello readers! This is the Templecon reaction special! As you probably already know this past weekend was Templecon the big US convention where every year PP makes a big announcement. After that announcement the internet reacts in the exact way you would expect: by acting like spoiled little shitheads and whining about all the things they didn’t get. Due to the sheer amount of Forum Rage we’ll be having two articles this week! I’d also like to give a special shout out to all the Forum dickbags who told me that I was living in denial by ignoring the obvious evidence that Cephalyx were the new Hordes faction. Suck it jerks!

Cephalyx Contract is a real let down!

Mercs are getting a whole new contract to play with! Pass me a sympathy pint here, as a Merc player this has filled me with sorrow and disappointment. You see my arbitrarily decided loyalty to one of the other contracts in Mercs has resulted in me being irrationally angry whenever anyone else gets anything cool. I have decided that I will not play this new contract and so I’m going to rant and rave about how PP has been super stupid with the way Mercs have been released! Mercs were a coherent faction before this Cephalyx contract was announced! Sure we’ve been divided into different contracts for years and exclusive models have been part of Mercs since literally the release of Magnus and Gorten in Escalation but the actual ‘facts’ don’t matter in this debate. What matters is my bullshit sense of entitlement and flimsy grasp on reality! I’m super disappointed that two Ally units that have previously been unplayable are now available in addition to several new solos, a UA, a warcaster and three new heavy warjacks that are their own unique type are all being added to my faction. That’s to say nothing of the stuff we haven’t even heard of yet! This is such bullshit! We’re not even getting a new warcaster in Vengeance! A whole new book of releases for us and PP just decided not to give us a second new warcaster this release cycle! Everyone but me is so unreasonable!

My three stages of Forum reading: Rage, disappointment and then pointing out their stupidity.

Stryker3 has completely negated the existence of Vlad3!

Vlad3 is pretty bad am I right? He can’t run Warjacks at all and that’s how I measure the power of a cavalry ‘caster. He’s stuck in that usual Khador niche of only being able to run one warjack, what a lose. Now lets look at Stryker3! Stryker3 is so OP! He gives all of his Warjacks Assault! The shit!? And he’s got Escort as a spell! So for one Focus upkeeping Escort he can give all of his Warjacks +2” movement and extra range on their guns via Assault. All for one Focus…plus one Focus for each Warjack so that they can charge! And then his Warjacks are kind of out in the middle of nowhere having just Asssaulted something and probably not done very much with their unboosted gun shots! They’ve probably done a couple of points of damage to a heavy though! Yeah! OP! Plus his Feat grants Auto-Hitting attacks and Weapon Master! Sure it’s only on one attack and it requires them to make a successful Charge but still! OP! Let’s not even get into the fact that he has an Elite Cadre with Storm Lances. First Kreoss3 and now Stryker3 have completely shat on Vlad3’s viability! It’s very important to me how good other peoples warcasters are because if I think they’re better than it negates my options in my faction! I definitely can’t play Vlad3 knowing that there’s something out there that could be better! I hate it when other people get cool releases for their faction! Fuck everybody else, give me new things now! No I don’t want Butcher3, he can go die in a fire.

Stryker3 is ludicrously OP, how will Menoth cope!?

Seriously PP, give Menoth some love instead of giving the faction that has Haley2 all the broken shit! It’s not like Menoth players have anything good at all. His Feat grants a single auto-hitting weapon master attack to his whole army! That’s so ridiculously unfair with all of those amazing Faction melee options Cygnar has. I’m totally terrified of Stormblades now! What will I do? Menoth has nothing like that except for Kreoss2’s Feat that grants auto-hitting attacks and an extra attack and doesn’t require a charge and can be used on all of Menoths weapon master units but that’s not the same at all because it’s a million times better. So I repeat my original stance, Menoth has nothing like that! Assaulting Warjacks? That’s even more sweet tech that Menoth doesn’t have. There’s like maybe one warjack in the whole faction with Assault and who remembers which one that is? A Focus 6 ‘caster with three upkeeps that’s built to run Warjacks!? How will the faction of Purification deal with this!? Well obviously the ‘jacks are a trap so he’ll run tons of infantry for that Feat. Kreoss1 just can’t cope with that much infantry that’s easily killed especially when knocked down! This shit is bananas. The fact that his charging unit of Storm-nouns can kill any Colossal ever especially since they consistently get into Melee has ruined my evening completely. I wish I had some way of dealing with an army that entirely relies upon doing a ton of damage to you when it charges. Some faction that had something like..bland kites? I dunno, I’m just spit balling here. We could get some super sweet ‘caster that’s based on Joan of Arc called like the Predictor or something…yeah…this could work. PP get on that!

We could call her the Forewarning of Our God Dude. That sounds good.

Stryker3 is totally overrated and actually pretty bad.

Stryker3 is terrible, I don’t know what these people are all so excited about. He’s got victim stats that just auto-die to MHSF. This is a huge problem with the recent errata that lets all factions take MHSF, which is totally OP by the way, and even if it hadn’t happened Stryker3 just screams Ret-drop! He’s a terrible infantry ‘caster because he wants to take Stormblades but they die immediately. Why would you even want him to send his army to kill a colossal? The best defensive stats in Cygnar are on Stryker2 so obviously you should just send him in to do all the work. It’s fine that if he dies you lose the game. Don’t sweat that. Using your army to do work is for chumps. His Assault rule is totally meh, it basically means you don’t take the UA on terrible Stormblades and take a bunch of other gun units. Plus what’s with that battlegroup +2 ARM buff? That means he’ll just take 2 Stormwalls and stack ARM which is boring! In other news, I should probably actually read the cards before I post rants about them. That might help me not look like an idiot on the internet where everyone can see. Before we move on to something resembling constructive discussion I would like to say that Stryker obviously is built as a hard counter to Colossals and Cryx but that’s such a niche role these days that he’s basically unplayable. He doesn’t even deal with Butcher3 or Retribution!

I don’t have a Hero Thread for our special edition here, I’ll probably have a couple later this week though so look out for that, but I do have a few shout outs I want to give. First one is to MattieK and Endgamegaming.net for his awesome coverage of the event. Look out for videos from the Masters getting posted on his site sometime either later this week or early next week. I’d also like to give a shout out to Road to War because they tweeted photos of the final game of the Masters live on their Twitter and I discovered that that is a surprisingly addictive way to watch a game unfold. Big props to them for doing that!

That is not all for this week, I’ll see you guys again with my regularly scheduled update on Thursday!

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