What I Learned on the Forums This Week 40


Is this seriously my 40th one of these? That’s…a lot. I might spend too much time reading forums. Should I be seeking help for this addiction? I’m not even being paid to do this. Oh well, I suppose I’ll have time to reflect on these and other important matters once I get through raving about what lessons were imparted onto me by the internet this week. Besides, with the glorious nerd rage that will follow the encroaching Templecon announcement and release of Vengeance how can I possibly stop reading the Forums now! We’re almost at the good bit…in a manner of speaking.

People who drop from tournaments should be shot.

So you’ve shown up to a tournament, whether it be in your local shop or at a major convention, and you’ve signed the blood contract required to participate as part of SR rules. Now you go and lose your first game and you’re thinking about dropping? Really? Did you not see the line on the contract that your soul will burn in eternal damnation if you drop from the event? I don’t care if we’re at a super sweet convention and you want to go hang out with your friends. I don’t care if you only came along for half of the day because you have work or family things to do this evening! You committed to playing in this tournament and goddammit you’re going to play whether you like it or not! Your enjoyment is of no importance here only my preferences! Anyone who drops from a tournament for whatever reason unless it involves being taken to hospitals, we’re not unreasonable, is a sore loser and a douchebag. There is no other acceptable explanation for why you would want to drop from an event! I welcome the day when SR rules will finally take the plunge of bolting the doors and shackling all players to their tables until the end of the event. Pissing into buckets will be a small price to pay for ensuring that nobody drops from an event!

Magnus the Traitor was so called because of his habit of dropping out of tournaments by feigning death.

The 2014 Masters pack is a money grab by PP! All Rise up against them!

As if it wasn’t enough that Privateer Press insisted that we use different characters in different lists and that we bring two lists to an event the new Masters pack requires you to bring three lists! You even have to play each of the lists so you can’t get away with only bringing two lists to the event! That means you have to buy a completely new set of models to build that third list with! It’s not like there’s such a thing as model overlap in lists and certainly no one would be mad enough to own more than two lists worth of models unless they were explicitly required to! I know I melt down and throw away all models that aren’t currently being used in my two list pairing. It’s the only way to be sure. This is also definitely a sudden and surprising change made by PP at the last minute with no advance warning! This is not how Masters have been for at least two years now, not at all. This whole thing is a scam to sell us models! As if PP were a company that was interested in making money by selling us stuff instead of the charitable organization we all know and love!

Circle with an animus that grants Hunter would be like the new Cryx!

So Circle got two new light warbeast’s models spoiled this week and while we obviously know that they’ll be terrible because..well Argus and Griffon that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t rampantly speculate about their animi! One big dreamer threw out a crazy curve ball idea that one of them could have an animus that gave out Hunter! Can you imagine how broken that would be? The ability to give Hunter to warlocks in Circle? Ignoring Forests would obviously be huge but even more ridiculous would be ignoring Cover! Then all those ranged attacks that Circle warlocks make literally every turn would be more accurate! The ability to ignore cover when making ranged attacks with your warlock would be so amazingly ball busting you would totally spend 5 points on a light warbeast to do it in every list. Move over Cryx here comes Circle ‘casters who ignore Cover!

Then Cassius would finally be able to see through his own Feat! Oh…wait…

Power Attack: Weapon Locks should be fixed to stop dragging!

You guys all remember how PP stupidly nerfed Weapon Locks around the time colossals were released to stop light a 4 point light warbeast from dicking over the activation of an 18+ point model? Wasn’t that stupid? Well even if for some reason you’re opposed to Colossals having any weaknesses at all they should still reverse this ruling with relation to light warbeasts locking heavy warbeasts. With the release of Butcher3, Prime Axiom and Galleon dragging is now super common and we need a way to deal with it. The best solution would be to let our cheap support lights lock our heavies in place to stop these drags from working because using my models to deny my opponent a key element of their play style is super fun. Did you bring Butcher3 because of his cool movement/dragging shenanigans? Get fucked with you’re ‘having fun’ and ‘playing the model the way he is supposed to be played.’ I don’t want you doing that so you’re not going to do it. Obviously this benefits Hordes over Warmachine because Hordes has more lights with open fists that see regular play but that’s okay. Warmachine has all the drag rules anyway so they’re the enemy in this conflict. In summary, PP should un-errata a rule so that we can make use of an exploit we found out about a while ago but can’t really take advantage of as much as we’d like.

Terrain ruins Warmachine.

How come non-Pathfinder models can’t charge over linear obstacles? And why can’t you just charge through buildings your hiding behind? This whole terrain thing just really isn’t working out for me. Whenever you play with terrain things like positioning your models and making sure you have some Pathfinder suddenly becomes relevant. Armies just function so much better when there isn’t any of this pesky terrain in the way. The fact that you have to sacrifice something, charging, to benefit from the cover of a linear obstacle just slows the game down and takes away from the fun of it. It’s much more fun to put two armies on the table that play the exact same way every game without adapting to the terrain on the table at all. The fact that a model getting cover from the building can’t then charge through part of the building to reach targets is also just frankly unfair. If you’re shooting at it from a vantage point where it gets cover you should be able to be charged by that model even if they have to pass through physically impassable terrain. Really what we want here is for there to be no penalty for taking advantage of cover-granting terrain and this will somehow reduce the effectiveness of turtling in Warmachine. That makes sense right..?

Baldur would also like to remind you about the glory days when Rough Terrain stopped non-Pathfinder models from charging entirely, for some reason that is relevant here.

Hero Thread: This week we’ve got a couple of Hero Threads since I saw that I was running a little long and thought ‘fuck it, why not go crazy!?’ It is #40 after all. So without further ado we have:

Loongor’s eKreoss conversion WIP by Loongor

This is just a standard run of the mill awesome conversion. Kreoss2 is one of the kings of underwhelming models and I love seeing what people do to make him look like a proper badass. Props to this guy.

UK Invitational Write-Up by Jamie P

Jamie P won the UK Invitational a little while ago but because I’m behind the times I didn’t notice his write-up thread until recently. If you’re a fan of Khador battle reports they’re worth a read.

Retribution take 5th at Vapnartak Masters 2014 – Battle reps started – 2/5 so far by PG_Alph

Continuing our selection of battle reports we have one from the Ret forums about an overall good showing. Not complete yet (as the title suggests) but should be soon.

Skorne at the Vienna Masters by Ruffy

Lastly we have battle reports from the 10th place finishing Skorne player at the recent Vienna Masters. The poster also includes some information about other Skorne players at the event and there’s a couple of brief posts from our very own Martin Hornacek about his games at the event. Worth a read for the Skorne-inclined out there.

That’s all for this week, thanks for reading!


6 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 40

    • I remember that thread. I think I wrote about it super early on in this series…man that takes me back. I believe it had the truly great quote that was something like “I think we can all agree that all terrain is essentially OP.” It was amazing.

    • We’ve talked in the past about setting up some way to record me as I read some absolutely terrible thread for the first time and then posting that up somewhere. It would need quite the explicit tag. The problem with this is that it’s pretty time consuming unless you find a thread you know is going to be terrible from the start. Usually spoiler threads are best. We may have a go with this idea around the time Vengeance is spoiled since there is some guaranteed stupidity to be found there.

      • Making notes to work off of, much like I imagine you do for this, would probably work for a weekly recording as a segment of a podcast.

  1. “Magnus the Traitor was so called because of his habit of dropping out of tournaments by feigning death.”
    LOL! This is the best!

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