What I Learned on the Forums This Week 38

forums

Welcome to a topsy-turvy edition of On the Forums in which the Circle and Legion forums decide to be weirdly shitty while the Ret and Troll forums are strangely reasonable. I’m going to go ahead and blame it on the Polar Vortex since that’s a thing that happened recently. I’m pretty sure at some point in this series we proved that correlation implies causation and something happening near something else is basically correlation. So there you go folks, this week’s article is brought to you by snow! Enjoy!

The whiners have ruined Menoth!

So we all know Reznik2 is terrible right? We’re all up to speed on that? His anti-shooting tech is only the same protection as Wind Wall but basically for free and his Feat is pretty meh. It’s not like his Feat will matter anyway since he’ll just be shot off the table by every faction in the game since Magic Weapons grow on trees now. This you all already know. The real question is why is Menoth getting such terrible releases? There’s an obvious explanation: other factions whining to PP about followers of the true faith. PP, a company with an established reputation of listening to exactly what it’s player base wants and doing that, is obviously blinded by the constant rage that choir and the Covenant are causing in other factions. I know not a day goes by where I don’t hear some player whining about the choir or about the big book of stories. There definitely isn’t whining about Cryx, or Harbinger or the fact that Reckoners are only eight points. It’s definitely those two models that everyone complains about and PP listens to them so they release terrible Menoth models like the Vessel of Judgement, Nicia and Kreoss3. It’s so hard to be optimistic as a Menoth player when you know that Tristan Durant is just around the corner.

The Woldwrath is the worst Gargossal

Gargantuans are definitely worse than Colossals, we’ll take that as a given. Now, from that point I’m sure you’ve briefly asked yourself: what is the worst gargantuan? This is clearly a stupid question, though, since we all know the Woldwrath is the worst. He’s way worse than the Mountain King and the Archangel. So the Woldwrath has like one list he’s good in with one of the best warlocks in the game. Who cares? There’s no evidence that the Woldwrath build is the best way to play that warlock so therefore it doesn’t count. Unlike all those power ‘locks that take the Mountain King in all their top tier lists! Everyone puts Montain King in their Runes of War lists right? Only at 75 points a format no one playes? Weird. Well there’s definitely tons of dojo for the Mountain King so you know it has to be a great model. The Archangel? Well it gets played with Thagrosh1, Kallus and Lylyth1, they’re all top tier Legion warlocks right? Well it doesn’t matter if Morvahna2 is better than all of them and that the Woldwrath build is amazing because she’s still just one warlock. If you so much as mention Morvahna1 in front of me I will have you flogged! Look, the overall point is that Trolls have indisputably been more successful with Mountain King lists than Circle players have been with Morvahna2 lists. Who the fuck is Will Pagani? Is he that fictional driver character Paul Giamatti played in Saving Mr. Banks?

Pictured: A competitive model that has seen great tournament success. Definitely.

Legion gives zero fucks about Issyria

It’s cool guys you don’t have to worry at all about Issyria, she’s no threat at all to Legion players. She’s way overrated and you can just shoot her with a Ravagore and she like explodes or whatever so it’s fine. It’s not like she’ll be DEF 18 most of the time and Ravagores will need 13s to hit her. She definitely won’t have brought a Shield Guard for four points to keep her safe. Neither of those things are likely at all. Hyperion? Psh, total lightweight. POW 17 heavies will make short work of that ARM 21 jerk even though he can’t have Harm cast on him. Besides we all know that she’s a Ret ‘caster so you just play Lylyth2 against her and shoot her off the table. People still bring Lylyth2 to tournaments right? It’s not all Saeryn/Vayl2 pairings, someone has to still play Lylyth2 with three Ravagores. Even if we don’t we definitely out-threat all of those slow ass Retribution models and Issyria definitely has no way of speeding them up! Issyria’s so crap she doesn’t even do work on her own! Not like basically every Legion warlock in the game. I’m always getting crucial work out of Saeryn’s throwing knives and the Vayls’ Occulus attacks. Certainly more work than Issyria will get out of Ancillary Attack. In conclusion Issyria is overrated and will definitely be played against Lylyth2 and lose all of the time. There’s no way this will actually end up as Saeryn vs. Vyross2.

Offensive Upkeeps are bad for the game.

So you’ve sat down to build a list for your faction and you’re thinking ‘what should I put in my list?’ Well I’ll tell you what you should include first, something that removes upkeeps from your models. If you don’t you’ll just auto-lose to the best spell in the game: Crippling Grasp. It’s not just Crippling Grasp that’s the problem, though, it’s any upkeep spell your opponent can cast on your models. They’re all complete bullshit and should just be removed from the game. Every game I play I have to use Eiryss2 to shoot my own unit just to remove an upkeep from them. I never use her to remove upkeeps on my enemy’s models. It’s totally bullshit that there aren’t any abilities in the game to stop my opponent from casting spells on my models. They should just drop the upkeep rule from offensive spells and replace it with ‘can only be cast once per turn.’ The balance of the game should be altered because one time I got butt hurt by Denny1 and that’s not fair. The only way to make Crippling Grasp fair is to make it so that anti-upkeep tech no longer works on it! That will definitely be good for the game!

Seriously how does a tiny white bitch have a crippling grasp? It makes no sense.

Hero Thread: Cryx Tricks by Myth2704

Honestly I seriously considered putting up an Issyria thread here since there has been some great discussion on her recently but it’s all scattered across a bunch of threads. You’re really better off finding it yourself and it’s still very early stages anyway. Instead I’m taking a thread from the Trollblood forums. In the interest of disclosure I have posted in this thread so I’m hardly an unbiased observer (am I ever?) but I think there’s some solid discussion going on here. Cryx is definitely the hardest match up for Trolls and it’s great to see people actually sharing some tech on how to deal with those undead jerks. People share general tactics as well as specific lists which I love to see. There’s also a similar thread on how to deal with Menoth, and Harbinger in particular, so here’s hoping this trend continues!

That’s all for this week, thanks for reading!

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5 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 38

  1. NEVER EVER go into a new release thread on the Menoth forums. Well, on any faction subforum, really. But the Menoth faction forum brought us this gem when the Flamebringers were spoiled (and I quote):

    “It doesn’t take playing them to figure out most of a unit, pure statistical analysis is mostly enough for new releases. And these pony girls just don’t cut it. Playing them isn’t necessary to tell us what we could get instead, or what role they look like they could play.

    In fact, playing them to form an opinion is a bad idea, as it doesn’t factor in opponent skill, as if they outperform in a match against a bad player, it makes them look better, while underperforming makes a unit look worse. Theory-crafting generally factors in equal skill with an opponent, and thus it is a really good indicator of how a unit will perform.”

    Reznik’s feat is straight money btw.

    • I remember that post, it remains to this day as one of my favorite things anyone has ever said on the Forums. It’s so phenomenally stupid it blows my mind. Some people…I just don’t know…

      I’ll say that release threads on the Troll forums are actually usually quite positive but it wears off quickly, even when the model is actually good, and before long they hate whatever it is. It’s a little bit backwards..

  2. I maaaay have been slightly kindof a little bit involved in that upkeep thread on Muse. In my defense, I was foolishly lured in by the stupid shit some guy kept saying about Crippling Grasp never being upkept.

    That’s a terrible defense. I was bad, and I feel bad. You have shown me the light, sirrah!

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