Hello again dear reader, we’re just over two weeks into the new year and it feels a bit like some people’s resolution was to share their stupid opinions on the internet. I hope for our mental health that some of them give up on it soon and start going to the gym or become Amish. Either works for me really. On that bizarre note that is entirely my own fault let’s get started!
Reznik can only be played one way.
If you’ve been trying to find some good Menite tech for taking down Butch3 you might have come across some nobody who’s not even the original Mike telling you to take Reznik. His theory involves some hair brained scheme wherein Reznik kills Butcher if Butcher ever charges in and kills your heavies. This is obviously nonsense since Butcher3 out threats Reznik. It’s not like this whole strategy is based on the idea of using Reznik as a counter threat thus eliminating the need for him to out threat Butcher3. Even if it did then that would mean that neither Reznik nor Butcher3 would be supporting their infantry and Khador infantry is better than Menoth infantry. Too bad Menoth can’t take warjacks and Reznik doesn’t have a theme force that can readily take four Reckoners or a combination of Reckoners and Vanquishers. That would be pretty great but unfortunately Reznik is obviously the infantry ‘caster in the warjack faction. Remember, it’s important when discussing tactics for a model to ignore how the other person is saying you should play it and insist that the way you play it is unsuccessful therefore it doesn’t work. After all, you’re never wrong.
Arcable Distraction would be fine.
Distraction is a spell you hardly ever see because it’s on a Mercenary warcaster who doesn’t see much play. Basically, all you need to know about it is that it’s worse than Freezing Grip. Sure Freezing Grip costs twice as much Focus but when did that ever matter? What matters is that in the past few weeks of ludicrously dubious spoilers Issyria was ‘spoiled’ as having Distraction in a faction with arc nodes. This is obviously okay and you should ignore people who say otherwise. It’s not all that amazing a spell to be able to cast on multiple units without risking the death of your ‘caster. -2 MAT? Psh, it’s not like Ret models are hard to hit anyway. -2 Def? Ret models are elites already, we don’t need no defense debuff. Effective RAT 8 MHSF would be fine, don’t worry about it. Enemy model/unit can’t make ranged attacks? Well Ret is so good at shooting that other factions might as well not bother bringing guns to the fight anyway so entirely negating their ability to shoot back wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Would this spell be good? Probably but Issyria wouldn’t be one of the top 10 casters in the game at all. It would be totally fine if she had this spell as part of her already amazing, and totally reliable, spoiled spell list. Don’t worry about it, it’s not like it’s Revive in Cryx.
The data is in: Trolls are bad!
So someone on some website people read posted an analysis of the tournament data from the beloved MattieK’s site. This data, which is definitely composed of 100% of all warmachine tournaments that matter, proves that Trollbloods are a bad faction and desperately in need of a buff. Now, you could point to things like Flanzer doing well with them as proof that they’re perfectly viable but he’s clearly a statistical outlier which proves nothing! Seriously, this analysis definitely includes all of the data from every Warmachine tournament ever. If you dispute it’s proof then you clearly don’t believe we can ever say anything at all about competitive Warmachine. If you don’t completely accept the validity of this analysis you are saying that statistics are a lie and there is no point ever talking about Warmachine ever. We should all just take vows of silence and only communicate our intentions through meaningful looks and awkward hand gestures. I can’t stress enough how this analysis draws on all of the data of every Warmachine event played in the entirety of 2013…that MattieK has data from. It’s not like there are actually events going on in Europe or places where MattieK doesn’t know about. He is our omniscient Warmachine overload after all, how would he not know about them? There certainly isn’t data from Poland that would suggest that Legion is actually the most underpowered faction in the world. That would be madness. I’m glad we live in a sane world where Trolls are shit and statistical analysis is 100% valid when it has only a handful of data points.
We’re all playing Houserulesmachine
Dearest reader I have a confession to make: I’ve been a fool. I have foolishly thought that because two in game effects have the exact same name that they might instead be one game effect and not actually two different ones at all. I was wrong but thankfully a figure of pure brilliance has enlightened me and proved me wrong. You see, Elevated and Elevated are not the same thing at all. You are Elevated if you are on a hill in any way, including just toeing on, but you are not actually Elevated unless you’re entire base is at least one inch higher than the other relevant models. You can tell that this distinction exists by the fact that the rules don’t say that and instead say something different and the Infernals have ruled differently on it in the past. You could argue that this is a stupid distinction and that instead of arguing about how many fractions of an inch a model is above another model I could just say that a whole hill counts as being both kinds of Elevated for simplicity but if you do that you’re no longer playing Warmachine. Oh no, you are now playing Houserulesmachine and you ought to be cast out of our perfect Warmachine society. You see, this genius among morons has the only correct interpretation of the rulebook even though all evidence and practicality disagrees with him. He is correct and everyone else is wrong. The point isn’t what is practical, fun or even correct but what the rulebook means to him when he reads it. What a guy.
Hero Thread: Destor Question by Tirrith
This is a weird thread since the OP was actually just a rules question about Destors that quickly spiraled out into a discussion of Ret’s most reviled unit. It’s not the greatest discussion ever held or anything, there’s a few people making dumb posts in the thread, but it’s a lot better than I had initially expected. There’s legitimately some good discussion of Destors advantages and drawbacks as well as some people making commitments to actually play testing the unit and seeing what results they get. As someone who likes Destors more than I probably should this is exciting for me to see. Go go Ret community! Try and actually be positive about models that aren’t Mage Hunters!
That’s all for this week. Thanks for reading!