What I Learned on the Forums This Week 31

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Happy post-Halloween! Winter has suddenly and impressively descended upon the fair city of Dublin and I’m cold as balls as a result. All the more reason to get angry and warm myself on the fires of stupidity that burn forever on the pages of the internet!

Flame Bringers are inexcusably terrible.

First off they just have appalling stats. Spd 9? Please, Spd 10 or bust bitches. MAT 6? That’s awful and irredeemable. Def 14 with Arm 15? Victim stats. Maybe if these girls were in some sort of faction that had buffs to make their units better they would be worth playing but there’s none of that in Menoth. This is a faction based around units that are amazing without buffs, like Errants. Pathfinder is negligible since Vengers have the ability to gain Pathfinder which is totally the same as having it all the time. Don’t even get me started on Side Step, that ability is terrible on them because something about how not hitting super hard makes Side Step worse. Also what if they Side Step out of formation somehow because you’re bad at positioning your own models? P+S 9 Weapon Master isn’t great at cracking high Arm and since that’s the only thing in the game they’re worthless. Killing infantry models? Psh, who cares about that? You know what would have made them great? Combined Melee Attack because I’ve always felt that my cavalry units would be better if I had to clump them together to make big attacks possible. If not that then at least Gang! Come one PP why are you guys even trying to design good models?

Dervishes are almost as good as Molik Karn.

You know what the difference between an okay light warjack and one of the best warbeasts in the game is? Reach. Think about it. If Dervishes’ had Reach they would totally be just like mini-Molik Karns. Think about how similar they are! They have P+S 13 on their attacks, DEF 13, Combo Strike and Side Step so basically they’re the same. To top it all off Dervishes are only 4 points! You could almost take three of them for the cost of one Molik Karn! Then all casters would fear your amazing Side Step assassinations. Sure Molik has the benefits of the Fury system, is SPD 6, can boost after rolling, is a Weapon Master and has an amazing animus but those are all corner case abilities anyway. What this all comes down to, though, is that Side Step is a useless ability if you can’t use it to assassinate your opponents caster. If you can’t arrange a janky assassination with an ability that gives some form of movement shenanigans what’s the point in that ability? This is just another reason why Flame Bringers are terrible.

He’s even mirroring Molik’s pose, coincidence? Probably.

This one time I played against model X and it didn’t do great things so therefore it’s bad.

Excuse me for a minute, I know you’ve just mentioned how that model is totally underrated and should see more play but I’m going to disagree with you. Now, I don’t actually play your faction and so have never used that model but this one time I played against someone using it and it didn’t do amazing things in our game so therefore it’s probably pretty bad and you’re wrong. What do you mean you’ve had success with it in a completely different list than the one I played against? Psh, like that’s relevant at all. Also my opponent may have only played with the model once or twice before and as a result made a misplay with it that limited its effectiveness. You would try and bring reason into this argument. Look, I’m sure you have fun in your little casual games but you’re just wrong because I know better than you since my post count is higher. In the end I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree because my opinion definitely has equal validity to yours even though I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.

Bane Cavalry had better be terrible because Cryx doesn’t need good units!

Can you imagine how terrible it would be for the game if Bane Cav turn out to actually be good? If these guys aren’t at best MAT 5, no reach and SPD 7 the game is going to fall apart. This entire game is balanced around Cryx not having amazing units and Bane Cav would forever change that dynamic. How would we deal with Cryx having another amazing unit that hits really hard but is easy to shoot off the table? I know what you’re thinking. You’re asking ‘but Stu, standard Cavalry is so hard to shoot off the table right now because hitting DEF 12 is hard and ARM 17 or so with a whole five hit points is just too goddamn durable! How will we ever shoot Bane Cav off the table before they charge? It’s not like we bring guns to take on Cryx and even if we did Cryx are known for being super durable to shooting and having high Arm stats. This is the end of the world.’ And to that I say, you’re totally right we’re fucked. You’re best bet is to put your head between your legs and kiss your Stormwall goodbye because he’ll be useless from now on. Oh well, maybe Mark III will fix the game and be worth playing again.

Cryx should stop wanting better infantry and go back to their core strength: amazing warjacks.

Hero Thread: The Afflicted: My Incubi by Saturated Phat

More conversion based goodness! This one only has two models posted so far but comes with a promise of a lot more interesting conversions to come. Saturated Phat is converting every model his Afflictor kills and turns into an Incubi such that it appears to have an incubi bursting from it. So far he’s done Durgen and an amazing Lord of the Feast. He already has a pretty long list of models killed that he’s going to need to convert so I’m really excited to see where this goes!

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5 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 31

  1. You forgot to include the guy that said that he KNOWS the Flamebringers aren’t playable because theorymachine told him so. Playing them to form an opinion is bad.

    • Unfortunately that guy posted after I wrote this, but yeah that was amazing. I think he might be winning the ‘stupidest thing I’ve read on the forums’ unofficial competition. So kudos to him I guess?

    • That is impressive, good find! I’ll admit I don’t spend much time at all in the IKRPG section so it’s easy for content there to pass by me unnoticed.

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