What I Learned on the Forums This Week 30

forums

Happy Halloween dear reader! I don’t have anything exciting and Halloween themed for you to enjoy this week so you’ll just have to make do with me being all ranty and angry like I usually am. If it helps you can imagine me doing so while dressed in a silly costume. I for one think I would make a rather fetching FemShep.

Famous players are monsters in disguise!

Mattie K finally got around to posting up his videos from the WTC so that means it’s time to get the pitch forks and torches because we’ve got some long haired balding witches to burn! Like me you probably immediately loaded up these videos expecting to see the Platonic idea of Warmachine play on display for the world to see. No mistakes at all and certainly no friendly take backs. None of that shit can be tolerated at all! Playing games in a friendly manner is tantamount to heresy. Instead we should point out every little mistake that a player has made and question the validity of every game he’s ever won. Clearly now that he once forgot to do something in one game once all of his games ever are suspect. If mistakes are happening during games then what separates us from the animals? I for one vote that every player Mattie K filmed be forced to go without pants for a week. Then when people ask them ‘why aren’t you wearing pants?’ they can say ‘I made a mistake and this is what happened.’ That’ll teach them!

Only a monster could pair Morvahna2 with a Woldwrath.

Only a monster could pair Morvahna2 with a Woldwrath.

Ret needs a Cryx level power caster to compete.

So we all know Retribution isn’t competitive. That much is obvious. If they were competitive they’d worship someone with a pronounceable name, like Everblight. Instead they’re stuck with some useless dying goddess who doesn’t even give them good warcasters. Since everything in Retribution bar MHSF, who are totally overrated by other factions, is mediocre at best Ret is obviously a faction in need of power casters. Introducing a Deneghra or Lich2 into the faction would hardly break the game since all of their models need buffs to function anyway. Retribution clearly wasn’t built with a similar design philosophy to Menoth but with more of an infantry focus because Menoth’s models do different things than Ret’s models. Retribution doesn’t have Errants for example. Invictors are also a good shooting unit with decent melee potential? Shut up with your facts because Invictors don’t do the exact same thing as Errants! Hah! Thought you could beat me with your logical arguments didn’t you! Well suck on this truth bomb: Menoth has choir and Retribuiton doesn’t therefor your point is wrong!

Fennblades are actually pretty bad.

Fennblades are basically just a collection of bad rules. MAT 6? Please. Tough? A joke at best. Vengeance? Who even lets Vengeance ever trigger? You just shoot the whole unit off the table at once with your magic super long range guns that auto hit and kill Trollblood models. It’s easy because Tough never triggers because it’s a terrible rule. SPD 6? Psh, Kriel Warriors run 12” when they pray for swiftness which is basically the same as having SPD 6 except when you want to charge or have them actually do work in melee. ARM 14? That’s the worst bit! Now of course you’ve brought a Krielstone so they’re probably ARM 16 but Kriels are ARM 17 which is so much better. ARM 17 prevents any of your models from dying to shooting automatically because the average roll on 2d6 is 7 and that’s how dice work. 2d6 only ever roll 7 so all your ARM 17 models are immune to POW 10 shooting while all of your ARM 16 models just auto die. Ignore those people with their actual ‘math’ about how there’s only a 10% difference in their likeliness of dying. That’s irrelevant to this discussion. For good measure though you should probably just say you doubt the validity of their math without adding any of your own because you’re a stupid shithead. That will definitely make your point convincing.

Look at these morons waving their swords in the air. They’re just asking to be shot to death.

Dice make Warmachine less competitive

Randomness ruins competition, it’s so obvious right? If we didn’t have randomness in the game Warmachine would be much more competitive. Clearly if it wants to be a properly competitive game it should aspire to be more like Chess: focused on memorizing strategies established by people decades before you with minimal innovation that can only be introduced quite late in the game. The memorization and implementation of preset strategies certainly sounds like it’s a huge amount more competitive than maximizing your chances of success and adapting to failures in your plans. It’s so obvious isn’t it? It’s not like someone as noteworthy as Richard Garfield has convincingly argued that luck and skill aren’t actually opposed to each other. Even if he did that guy’s probably a moron anyway. Does he even post on internet Forums that discuss these sorts of things? Exactly!

Hero Thread: Strip the flesh, salt the wounds!-GsPirates Skorne by GsPirate

I love conversion work and well painted models and this thread has both! Skorne rank pretty high on the list of armies whose models I quite like but look painful to paint. This poster does not share my qualms and has gone full on into converting and painting his Skorne. My favorite one which I’m looking forward to seeing finished is his Cannoneer converted to actually have a trunk. That’s pretty goddamn cool.

That’s all for this week! I’m going to eat a lot of candy!

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