What I Learned on the Forums This Week 28


I should really stop leaving this little intro sentences to be the last thing that I write. Every week I tell myself I’ll write it first this time and every time I get so annoyed with whatever I’m reading that I skip the intro and go straight to the rant. That probably says something about me and while I could talk to Dr. Avian about it I think I’d rather just complain about morons on the internet. Yeah…I’m going to do that second one.

I’m not even going to write an article this week.

I disapprove of the mockery heaped upon the noble forums in this series every week and to protest I’m not going to write anything this week. What do you say to that? Now, of course I’m not actually not going to write anything this week since you’re reading this now but that can be easily explained. If I actually wrote nothing how would you know that I had decided to write nothing? If I don’t explain to you in writing that I’m not writing you’d just be confused by my absence. I can’t have that since I’m so important it would probably be devastating to you to not see me writing anything. It’s okay though because I’m here to tell you that I’m not telling you anything. This non-article is dedicated to all my passive-aggressive forum brethren who post saying they’re not going to say anything or who declare in a post that they have officially stopped reading this thread. Well done guys you sure did make a strong statement and everyone appreciates that. Now maybe next time just shut the fuck up and actually post nothing or ignore the thread rather than claiming you are. If I had a pint for every time I saw someone claim to leave a thread only to post again within a day I’d be dead from alcohol poisoning.

Ossyan is bad and Ret players were right all along!

A little event called the WTC went down just over a week ago and in it Ossyan had an appalling 1-11 record. Would a good warcaster do that badly at an event? Now, obviously, because this is Ret the entirety of those losses were Ossyans’ fault. No other mitigating circumstances could explain those statistics. Obviously Ossyan is terrible, maybe mediocre at best, and no one should play him. Everyone has known this forever but people who are apparently good at the game keep insisting that he’s viable. The WTC has shown that those people are morons and no one should play anything that isn’t Ravyn in tier. The evidence shows that Snipe Feat Go is the only tactic available to Ret players because Ret is a bad faction and people who play it should feel bad. This one time I saw someone play Ossyan and I vomited a bit in my mouth at the sight of him he’s that bad. Ossyan lost 11 games which is clearly a statistically significant figure in an event that featured 800 games played. Double points to people simultaneously arguing that we have no proof that WTC players were any good and that obviously they didn’t lose their games due to a lack of skill. Nicely done. Also, Admonition is a bad spell because purification is a thing that exists in the game. Mic drop.

Bet you expected a picture of Ossyan to go here didn't you? Surprise!

Bet you expected a picture of Ossyan to go here didn’t you? Surprise!

Convergence players are already speculating on what PP won’t give them!

PP is obviously never going to give Convergence elite infantry because the Enigma Foundry exists. A recursion mechanic that good applying to theoretical elite infantry would just break the game in half and render it unplayable. Just imagine the rules these theoretical models could have? What’s that you say? Convergence probably not getting a new infantry unit for at least a year? But why? Something about a limited release faction? I don’t remember a forum shit-storm over that so it obviously never happened. Lets talk more about what PP won’t give Convergence in releases that may never happen. That seems a lot more productive than writing lists or playing games.

Nothing has changed since Mark I

You know what is really a problem in this game? Mark I power casters. All of the ridiculously broken power casters from Mark I made a smooth transition into Mark II without any major nerfs. This puts factions without Mark I era power casters at a huge disadvantage. I keep losing to stupid broken stuff that’s ruining the game. Every time Testament revives his Vengers and Feats to charge through my models and kill my caster I’m like ‘That’s so OP!’ Seriously how did Testament make it through the field test? He’s just as broken as Mark I. Man, don’t even get me started on Epic Vlad. That Feat is so busted it’s not even funny. He’ll kill your caster from miles away. Why didn’t they keep the ban on playing Epic warcasters at low points levels? Then I at least wouldn’t have to put up with this shit at most tournaments. You know who really needs to see some more table time though? The Harbinger of Menoth. She’s really terrible. Why does she have to spend 3 Focus every round to cast Martyrdom? That should be an inherent ability if you ask me. She pays life for it doesn’t she? It even knocks the model down! Between that and the 4 Focus to cast Crusader’s Call she basically has no Focus to run warjacks with. What about that Feat? You can just turn your models around and ignore it! It’s a bit pants really. Man I wish Mark II had actually changed who the power casters were in this game, it’s been 4 years why isn’t everything different!?

Still as ball-bustingly broken as ever right? Right?

Hero Thread: The Usual Suspects by Warmachinist2012

This thread is a Menoth players attempt to help people come up with counter strategies to use against a handful of the major power casters in the game. Specifically it’s targeting power casters that are generally seen as a problem for Menoth. It’s a noble goal and the follow through is pretty impressive. While the OP has written up a few of the ‘casters himself he’s asking for general community input and has gotten some. It’s a good thread so far and it will be interesting to see how it develops.

Hero Thread II: Competitive Reznik? By Obeisance

This week has a double bill because I love Reznik. He’s an awesome model with some super cool rules. I’m just a big fan of this guy. His job is head of public relations what’s not to love? I’ve always felt that he’s a lot better than most people give him credit for and this thread generally agrees with me. If there’s one thing I love in this world it’s threads that agree with me. It’s still pretty new so hopefully it continues to develop in the way that it’s started but I remain optimistic. Should be good times.

That’s all for this week! Thanks for reading!


3 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 28

  1. From what I can tell, anyone who played eMorghoul in MkI is currently on the floor, frothing at the mouth in rage at the forums for claiming that all the MkI power-casters are still power-casters.

    • I can’t believe I wrote a whole thing on Mark I power casters who aren’t as good as they used to be and forgot Morghoul2. I’m deeply disappointed in myself right now…He was so fucking broken in Mark I…

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