Welcome back, dear reader, to my little house of mystery! What bizarre and stupid things have I read this week? What wondrous heroes have posted legitimately interesting threads this week? Read on and all will become clear! But first, entry fee is two quid mate.
Cygnar and Khador should swap spells!
You know what would make Cygnar more competitive and solve so many of their problems? Iron Flesh on a stick. What does Khador need to be competitive in the current meta? Arcane Shield on most of their warcasters. Clearly Cygnar and Khador should just swap Arcane Shield for Iron Flesh because allowing factions ridiculous levels of skew is totally okay. Cygnar being able to have Iron Flesh on two different units won’t break the game even a little bit. Khador really could use an additional three ARM as well. ARM 24 Behemoth is fine, nothing wrong with that. Loads of factions can get high ARM models like Tiberion with Inviolable Resolve or the Avatar with Defender’s Ward. Sure these only reach ARM 23 and require their shield, an ability that can be removed or ignored, to reach that ARM. And sure they’re expensive character heavies while Khador could get seven point ARM 23 Juggernauts but that’s not really important. What’s important is that this would make both factions better and improving factions regardless of game balance is the point of Warmachine..I think…
The WTC is insufficiently worldly!
World Team Championship? More like Europe-Plus-One-Other-Country Team Championship, am I right? How can this even be called a world event when only European countries are participating, except for the USA, and it’s being held in Europe? Clearly more North American countries should be participating at the very minimum. Never mind that there are only three countries in North America so it’s impossible for them to make up even half the field. They should just augment their numbers by including players from South America. The WTC really is not impressive and it’s certainly no Olympics. Now you might be saying that this is a hobby event that has no real money attached so everyone has to travel on their own budget which will naturally limit the ability of countries to send teams to events halfway across the world. You might also point out that Europe has way more countries than any continent so it’s only natural that they make up most of the field especially when you consider that this is a primarily western middle class hobby so Africa and much of Asia are unsurprisingly not participating. These are all obviously not relevant points because the concept of nationhood is a false one that people mistakenly believe in and limiting the number of teams a country can send is wrong because only the best players should be allowed to play. What does this have to do with the rest of the argument? How can I simultaneously argue that more countries should participate and that countries as an idea are flawed and obviously don’t really exist? At this time no further questions will be allowed.
Morvahna2 is broken as fuck.
So Bobliness won the last qualifier for Warmachine Weekend this past weekend (gratz!) and the internet reacted to the fact that he played Morvahna2 as one of his lists in a reasonable and calm manner. Oh no wait a shit-storm erupted where people simultaneously called for Morv2 to get a nerf and for shittier models to get a buff to make them more playable. The waves of bullshit entitlement sank this thread like Atlantis of old with moans like ‘its appalling that PP doesn’t even try to fix old models’ and ‘there needs to be more than 0-2 good choices for a faction.’ The stupidity was epic and painful. Never mind that all of the victories Morv2 has had this year came at the hands of very good players and never mind that she made a lot of terrible models viable for play again (looking at you reeves) she’s clearly broken and bad for the game. Someone totally threw around their magic internet weight by declaring that they’ve basically know all tournament results and the number of viable casters is near an all time low. Register me as a skeptic on the veracity of his data. Super extra internet points to the guy who went out of his way to make a dig about how all of Legion was overpowered while simultaneously complaining that both Morv2 and Lich2 are overpowered. You’ve got a real grudge against that faction and it makes you look like an idiot.
Menoth Forums have magical rules detecting powers!
Some of you may have seen that Flamebringers have finally been published in the PP front page! The mystery dating from all the way back in Wrath is finally over and of course there was much rejoicing! Oh no…wait there was much bitching and stupid rules speculation. I forgot where I was for a moment there, sorry, won’t happen again. People immediately began speculating on what there rules would be and at the same time declaring these rules they had just made up as lackluster and not worth fielding. Apparently they try to do too many things without being great at any one. Except we don’t know what their rules are. Also CMA on a cavalry unit? Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you? Also guessing ride by attacks for them is weird, if they were going to have that they would just be normal cavalry not light cavalry. Some people also said that Tristan is bad and because he’s bad they doubt that these models will be good. Those people are morons. Tristan is amazing. The overall thrust of the arguments in this thread is that melee light cavalry is bad which is stupid as hell. Why is it bad? Melee normal cavalry is fine, why would light cavalry be bad? You lose out on impact attacks but when do you really make good use of those anyway (longriders excluded because Horthol’s bananas)? Light cavalry is faster than standard cav so you get better threat, which is good, and as long as they hit hard they’ll be fine. Soulhunter’s problem is not that they’re shit it’s that they’re in Cryx and Bane Knights are a thing. People need to stop focusing on the idea that they’re light cavalry and therefore should play like the already existing light cavalry and shoot. They are melee cavalry so they should play like other melee cavalry but with a few minor rules differences. Fucking hell people stop being so goddamn stupid.
Hero Thread: Observations on Constance by Coinlord
I’ve always quite liked Connie Blaize even if I’ve only played her once. Unlike me, Coinlord has played a ton of Constance over the past month and has decided to post his thoughts on the Mercenary forums. I’m always pleased to see lesser played ‘casters being discussed and I’m doubly pleased to see some actual serious tactical discussion on the Mercenary forums. I wouldn’t say his conclusions are revolutionary but they’re well thought out and have enough new differences to be worth a look. Also, he’s running Gallant and Rocinante in a list which is an idea I’ve been planning to do for ages (and still haven’t don yet) so I’m super stoked to see someone else had the same idea.
Bonus: Warning! There be Pokemon here. by Serric
It’s been a while since we visited the Miniatures and Modeling forum and this one amused me so I thought I’d provide you guys with a bonus hero thread this week. This thread basically does what it says on the tin. Serric has converted and painted his Gators to look like Pokemon and he’s done it pretty well. Check it out.
That’s all the madness this carnival has to offer this week. Come back next week where I’ll be getting all of my material from the faction list sub-forums!