What I Learned on the Forums This Week 21


It’s been a slow week on the internet and I’ve been busy with my actual work since apparently this doesn’t pay me an real money. I’ve replaced one of my usual rants with a second Hero Thread this week to make up for the slowness. Hope you enjoy!


Using the forums to discuss things is wrong!

The Menoth Forums have had a recent plague of threads wherein people legitimately discuss lesser used models and whether people consider them bad or not. Obviously this is wrong. I don’t need to point that out to you guys. Those people should just read the sticky threads that have already covered all possible discussions of these models. The usefulness of all models was set in stone years ago with sticky threads that never fail to be relevant despite changes in the meta resulting from new releases. The Forums aren’t the place to discuss a model’s value. Instead you should talk about whether you should blame Cryx players for My Little Pony pictures showing up in Google image search or if you should just embrace MLP and join them. Definitely the mature and reasonable way to deal with this horrible situation is to start a thread trolling new players and complain when someone has the thread title changed to not confuse newbies into thinking that Reckoners are actually bad.

Here’s a picture of a Reckoner because I refuse to look up MLP images for you.

Cryx players have no grasp of what’s fair.

When I wander into the Cryx forums I’m often not sure if people posting there are trolling or just kind of dumb. They’ve gone so far that I can’t help but wonder if some people actually believe things that used to be said as jokes. Their rampant speculation threads can be cringe-inducing when you read how ridiculous some of their suggestions are. Sure, rampant speculation is basically always going to involve asking for broken stuff but there’s asking for something a little better than you’ll ever get and there’s asking for shit like Zephyr on a generic UA that can attach to Bile Thralls. Nobody actually wants that to be a thing. Alternatively, maybe the UA should give Stealth, Dark Shroud, once per game Blast Immunity, have an attack spell and be able to collect souls and spend them to boost attacks for the unit. Five abilities is standard right? This is stage one of the doom cycle: unreasonable expectations. Once this guy is released most people will be extremely disappointed in him because he wasn’t stupidly broken and we’ll move on to stage 2. Well done guys, you’re heroes the lot of ye.

If Elara is good with Issyria that’s bad.

Sometimes all it takes is one genius saying something really dumb to get me going. For the purposes of this whole chat here let’s just ignore the fact that Elara actually is good because having four extra focus to assign to warjacks is good. Instead let us journey into the madness that is believing that a Novice Warcaster can actually be a terrible model. In this land you would expect that if a model came out that made that terrible terrible Novice Warcaster better that would be a good thing. This is the first sign that you’re clearly not a native. Any good red blooded crazy land citizen would know that releasing a model that makes your terrible Novice Warcaster better would be shit assuming that new model is a warcaster. Then the character Novice Warcaster can only be taken in one list! A model being good in one list is obviously worse than it being good in no lists because…something? I’m actually not sure where this line of argument goes but apparently it has something to do with a really vague car dealership metaphor. Somehow Elara being good in one list is like buying a car but only being able to drive it around the parking lot? I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. Luckily nobody spent to much time on it in this thread and instead went off on a tangent arguing about whether or not Durgen could one round Discordia from range. Well done Ret forums. You sure did do a thing.

Worst case you can always throw her at the enemy warcaster and hope she survives.

Hero Thread 1: PP Discussion Forum Bingo by Halcyon Dtier

I really couldn’t fail to mention this thread because it’s basically a condensed version of the sort of shit I do here every week. The premise is simple: make a bingo card where each square is a frequently occurring thread from the Forums. Step 2: ?? Step 3: Profit! It’s pretty entertaining if you read the Forums a lot, because you’re me or some similarly pathetic bastard, and that’s enough for me to recommend it.

Hero Thread 2: Beastmaster eMadrak, an eMadrak Tactica by Beckman

If you frequent this site at all you may have noticed that I love Trolls. If you haven’t then now you know. I also happen to love Madrak2 and while I play him with all the dudes right now I’m always looking for cool alternative ways to play cool warlocks. In this write up Beckman is arguing for building Madrak2 with a heavier beast load out than most people use right now. He doesn’t suggest this are a replacement to the all the dudes build but rather as an alternative play style. His ideas are interesting and worth a read. Be warned though, the big bad troll of the Trollblood forums dumps some stupid into the posts after the main tactica. Please be good people and don’t feed him, he doesn’t need it.

That’s all for this week. I will now return to impatiently waiting for Warmachine: Vengeance. That book needs to come out so I can make fun of the Doom Cycle some more!

6 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 21

  1. These have become some form of terrible torture for me, as I finish reading your hilarity then angrily sift through mountains of forum horseshit to find these threads so I can be angry at them. I think it might be unhealthy.

    And delicious.

  2. Ret has way too much self-loathing. I don’t understand why y’all angry elves are so hateful of yourselves and your faction.
    Cryx asking for overpowered? Somehow, I fail to be surprised.
    And thank you for not looking up MLP pictures.

  3. As a long time lurker and occasional poster in the Cryx forums I can answer your question. Don’t take them seriously, we troll ourselves. Look at the Skarre is a pile of Crap thread. The wish listing threads is trolling to piss off other factions. See the 1st world Cryx problems. We know that the other factions hate us, so we keep things light on the Cryx side of things.

  4. I love the Protectorate Forums. What drove me nuts about that series of threads was the name “X considered bad?”. Writing an incomplete sentence fragment, makes for a poor title. How about “How is X performing in SR 2013?”. I suppose I just have a knee-jerk reaction to thread titles that sound like whining after spending so long on the Retribution forums, that I can’t bring myself to engage them in a positive manner.

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