What I Learned on the Forums This Week 13


This weeks On the Forums has been brought to you by sleep deprivation! I’ve already forgotten what I wrote but hopefully its entertaining in some form or another! Also this week we bring you not one but 10 Hero Threads! Woooo!

Retribution didn’t launch with a Battle Engine or a Colossal!!

This weird factoid doesn’t come to us from the Ret forums but rather from other weird spaces of the Forums. Now I’m sure most of you are thinking ‘yeah, no shit they didn’t, those models didn’t even exist what Ret was released. Hell Mark II didn’t even fully exist yet’ but what you’re missing is that something something relevant explanation. The recent release of Convergence has caused people who pointlessly compare faction stats for no understandable reason to point out that Retribution is worse or unloved or something something compared to Convergence because they didn’t launch with these huge models. Alternatively sometimes they point out that Convergence doesn’t have the same number of models or characters as Ret did when they launched and gets this fact thrown at them as a counter point. Never mind that Ret has these models and has had them as long as everyone else. That’s not really relevant. What is relevant is that they didn’t start with them. Now, of course, neither did any other faction besides Convergence but that’s also no relevant because some moron says its not on the internet.

Popular vote is the most accurate measure of ‘Caster strength!

Every so often someone asks for the Forums’ opinion on who the strongest ‘casters are for a given faction. The original poster then gets one or two responses of peoples opinions, either who they think is strongest or else what is wrong with the OP’s list, before someone makes a reference to the most recent popularity contest the forum had where they definitively ranked the power of all of the faction’s casters. Sometimes this individual is at least decent enough to link to it but more generally they just say something like ‘Didn’t we like just do this last week?’ ignoring the fact that it was actually a month and a half ago and the front page of the Forum cycles every 3 days or so. Obviously the first person should have just searched for it though. Then they could have once and for all understood the respective power levels of all of the ‘casters in their faction based upon a series of plus and minus markings relying entirely on popularity rather than actual quality. It’s not like there are underrated warcasters who are actually amazing but won’t be voted for because they never see play. That never happens. As we recently learned every single strategy in Warmachine and Hordes has already been discovered by someone.

I seem to recall this guy ranking bottom 3 on the Mercenaries poll. Totally legit.

Battle College is super difficult to use

I’ll admit I have a certain fondness for Battle College. Sure it gives some pretty terrible advice at times but when I was just starting out back in the dark dark days of Mk. I it was a really useful tool for me to decide what I wanted to buy next. Now apparently some people find the website really frustrating because if you search for it on Google or use the search engine you can end up with Mark I rules. Obviously this is super confusing for new players because it says in giant font at the top of the page that the rules are out of date. Basically this time capsule of history should be erased because people find navigating Battle College using it’s functional tab system way harder than using the cluster fuck of a search engine it has. Also the pages are way inferior to those on Wikipedia which is obviously a travesty because it’s not like lots of people edit and maintain Wikipedia on a daily basis while Battle College appears to mostly be run by squirrels. Also it’s not like Battle College is a wiki and someone could try and fix some of the problems with it. No, it’s probably a much better idea to delete all of the old entertaining content from the website so that people who can’t figure out how to use a simple tab system on a free website can live in peace knowing that they won’t see any crazy out of date rules that might confuse them.

Warmachine getting a new faction is totally not fair!

Some of you may have noticed that Warmachine now has seven factions while Hordes only has five! Obviously this is completely unfair and causes game imbalance. I for one have noticed that my Trollbloods have been performing much worse against Warmachine factions since the release of Convergence. I can just feel the presence of the Convergence weighing my luck against me and draining the strategies from my brain. Clearly I should be playing Warmachine since Warmachine is totally OP due to their extra factions. Certainly the release of Convergence has nothing to do with the tenth anniversary of Warmachine and Hordes won’t be getting a new faction for its tenth anniversary in 2015. Even if they were it would still be seven to six! Hordes should totally have gotten two new factions for the good of the game!

Axis cares only for crushing with his hammer hands. System balance means nothing to him! Nothing!

Hero Thread: Buying Guides by ChainAttackJay

Across the various faction subforums a series of threads appeared this week talking about what models a player should pick up, and in what order, if they wanted to play that faction competitively. The individual threads have some very interesting discussions on what models are really fundamental to that faction. Definitely worth dropping in and having a read of at least a couple of them. Once the community has settled on some sort of consensus they should also be a valuable resource for players looking to pick up a new faction or become competitive with one they’re currently dabbling in. As someone about to pick up Retribution that one was of special interest to me. 🙂
The threads: Retribution of Scyrah    Mercenaries     Cygnar      Khador     Protectorate of Menoth    Cryx
Legion of Everblight                  Skorne              Trollbloods           Circle of Orboros

That’s all for this week. I’m off to sleep the sleep of the just until I am once again summoned to write a short-ish article on people writing stupid things on the internet!


One thought on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 13

  1. To be fair, there’s really two Barts: One with the galleon, one without. The one WITH the galleon is a disgusting monster for what he does to the Colossal.

    The one without the Galleon is really kinda blah in what he does.

    I miss him having Rouse and Crow. 😦

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