Welcome back for another installment in my weekly community service project. They say I can stop once I’ve mad the Forums a sane and reasonable place! I’m sure that will be any day now.
Including Mercs and/or Minions in your list makes you a traitor!
The first clue was obviously the existence of Magnus the traitor! It’s like they’re not even trying to be subtle. Did you want to play whatever models you wanted based on their individual merit rather than exclusively friendly faction models? Well you’re doing it wrong! You should only play your faction with maybe, and only maybe, some small support solos from outside your faction! We’ll let you have one of: Rhupert, Eiryss and Gorman but not all three! Merc units? Definitely a no-no. Including two of them? Well if you love Mercs so much why don’t you marry them? We need to keep the Protectorate of Khadnar free from their insidious ways. Yes sir, definitely no Mercs to be found here. Is he gone? That guy is super weird. As a Merc player I’m baffled by people objecting to using Mercs in their faction. I would kill to be able to include some of the other factions stuff in my armies. Also refusing to play what is clearly the best option for a list because of some arbitrary line between Cygnar and not Cygnar is weird and dumb. Cygnar players are definitely the worst for this but Khadorans and Menites are not without their aversion to Mercenaries. Troll players have also traditionally not taken Minions very much but they at least seem to be coming around finally. Everyone else, play with all of the options available to you or at the very least don’t be a judgmental dick because someone else is. Seriously you just look stupid when you say something like ‘have you tried actually playing Cygnar.’ When someone finally invents a punching people through the internet button you’ll make my top ten list of people to use it on.
PP are dumb because they don’t do stupid things I want!
Convergence isn’t even out as a general release and the release has already been botched! PP didn’t release everything ever for the whole faction all at once! I mean seriously what a lack of planning? Why didn’t they just wait and release everything all at once so that I could…buy it then? I’m honestly not sure what I’m supposed to want out of this demand actually. I think I’m supposed to demand a release schedule that is superior to PP’s current release schedule in a non-specific way. Just better, you know? Or else they could have made Convergence a full faction which would alleviate my objections to this release schedule for some reason that’s not entirely clear. It would definitely be better but that’s not what I want I want something else that I’m not making clear at all. Is this confusing? Well you must be reading it wrong also I’ve played this game forever. I don’t think I can maintain this level of entitlement for much longer without exploding. How do people live their lives expecting these sorts of things from companies? Pro tip for internet users: posting a stupid whiny rant on a public Forum does not qualify as an informed critique of the product/company you are complaining about. It makes you look stupid. Extra points for somehow deciding that the faction with the release cycle most like Convergence is Mercs. That makes no sense.
Feora2 is the only good Warjack ‘caster
Now I know what you may be thinking: Menoth actually runs pretty ‘jack heavy most of the time. Well you’re wrong. Feora2 obviously always runs ‘jack heavy and the only other Menite warcaster to take more than one warjack is Harbinger. Now I’m sure you could try and use your ‘facts’ and point to successful tournament lists featuring warcasters with several warjacks but you’d clearly just be trying to distract us from the real truth. That real truth is that Mercenaries are bad and will keep being bad until some sort of fantastical amazing release makes them not bad. What does this have to do with Protectorate? What do either of them have to do with Seethers? Why are Ravyn and Butcher2 listed as top tier warcasters? I’m very glad you asked me that. I think you’ll find that we are where we are and everyone partied in the good times.
Proper dismissive argument technique
I acquired some brilliant life advice this week on how to properly argue on the internet. The key is to find a thread where someone is actually looking to have a meaningful discussion about a model they are having trouble with. Then make a post using the following format: ‘Why would you bother taking X when we have Y.’ Don’t add any context or explanation behind your reasoning, that should be obvious to everyone, just leave it short and confusing. Then when someone disagrees with you by pointing out how the two models do subtly different things or that some lists might in fact take both dismiss their counter argument as failing to fully understand your vague point. Also call them a fanboy and throw in some kind of general dismissive declaration about the Forums like ‘this is why I don’t post here often, no meaningful discussion.’ Ignore the contradiction that you’ve only made two declarative sentences in this discussion neither of which included any useful advice. That’s not relevant. It’s the rest of the community not you that’s the problem. Extra points if you make some reference to how if anyone had read all of your previous posts they would know exactly what you meant in this post because you’ve said it before. It’s not like any given post you write could be read by some new Forum member looking for advice. New players are the enemy anyway.
Hero Thread: Elevating One’s Play by Liberator525
This thread has some useful advice for both new players and veterans. The OP asked for advice on how to make the most of his games and get better at the game and has received a rather impressive selection of advice. There are some very useful tips in there for getting the most out of your practice and tournament games. Definitely worth a read.
That’s all for this week. Please join me next week as I plunge ever deeper into insanity!