What I Learned on the Forums This Week 8


Shhhhh be vewy vewy quiet. I’m hunting Fowums!

Purification is Bad for the Game!

Every good internet bridge troll aspires to one day enter the big leagues and maybe become some sort of actual bridge troll and by god I’ve got bridge dreams coach! My tortured metaphor in this case refers to taking on a point that lots of smart internet people, plus some not so smart actual people, say quite a lot. I might be just some kind of simple fool who writes shitty comedy for the internet but I’m baffled by the idea that a spell that has literally existed since the origin of the game (back when it was called Anti-Magic Pulse, hack poo!) could also be bad for it. It’s not like this is some kind of new interesting introduction. Warmachine without Purification has never existed. There wasn’t some glorious purification free version of Warmachine that was so much better than the current version which is just a hollow reflection of past glory. Now I’m sure you can come up with some ever-so-clever rebuttal with your big space brain but for you I’m going with what should be my new catch phrase: that’s the way the game is so suck it up and move on….bitch.

Look at this asshole with his stupid mask. Way to ruin it for everyone!

Haley2 is Totes Overrated

The forums are sending me mixed messages and I’m not sure what to do! I was so convinced that Haley2 was the br0k3nz but it turns out I was wrong and instead she’s completely overrated. I mean seriously Gaspy2 and Denny1 are basically better than her so she’s not that great. Top 5? Psh why even bother if you’re not the big cheese. She can’t even get the job done herself like every other top tier caster. Not like Denny1 and her super reliable melee assassination. Also if you kill Haley2’s army she is not nearly as good as if you don’t. Also she can’t stop you from shooting her army to bits except for her spell that increases the Def and Arm of her models vs. shooting. But besides that she’s got nothing! Having a great spell list, great feat and a shit ton of focus isn’t enough to be amazing. Nemo1 has like most of that or something and he’s not Gaspy2 so therefore Haley2 isn’t as amazing as everyone else seems to think she is. Or else the Cygnar Forums has a resident population that includes dumb. I know which one I’m going with.

Also her pose isn’t practical.

Anyone who Opposes Whining is Basically A Total Fanboi!

What follows is a thing that definitely happened on the forum transcribed for your benefit:

Poster A: Bitch bitch bitch moan whine bitch whine moan thing

Poster B: You’re a moron. Do X and it will be fine. Posting here is pointless.

Poster A: God I hate PP Fanboi’s so much. I’m just being a critical consumer who blah blah blah entitled bullshit.

Now I know what you’re thinking: Poster A seems like a reasonable respectable individual whose opinions I should listen to and respect but I’m going to drop a bomb on you. Poster B is actually the correct one in the situation. It turns out that accusing someone of being a fanboy does not actually make it true and in fact just makes you look like an asshole. The exact kind of asshole that attacks someone who disagrees with them rather than actually engaging in some kind of reasonable discussion. Maybe instead of accusing people of being fanboys you should re-think posting your entitled and uninteresting bitchfest on the forums dedicated to the company that makes that game. Guess what? People posting on the PP forums are fans of PP’s stuff. Shocking I know. Also, we aren’t fucking interested in your stupid problems. This is a forum for discussing the game not listening to the minor first world problems of someone without any real friends to talk to.

Lylyth2 is Extremely Situational

She’s practically useless guys. She’s only good against shit opponents playing one of the majority of the factions in the game. I mean she can totally take all of the stuff Legion can take and play with it but basically unless you assassinate the opponent’s war-noun because they leave it out in the open she’s terrible. That said she can be really solid in scenario but because her army is so pillowfisted all it takes is one warjack to shut down her entire scenario game. Do you ever feel like the only appropriate response to something you read is to say ‘have you considered not being shit at the game?’

Yeah you better run!

Hero Thread(s): My WIP Mammoth by Pwnstar53 and Lightning War, By Ramolis by Ramolis

Today we’re venturing into the general pool of awesome that is the Miniatures and Modeling forum. Seriously even if you don’t visit any other part of the Forums there is some fucking gold to be found in here. This is my happy place where I go when I read some especially terrible piece of advice. It calms me. With that in mind we have two awesome conversions you should check out. It’s bitchin’ stuff. Pwnstar53’s mammoth conversion is gorgeous both in the modeling he did and the paint job. Ramolis took one of my favorite types of conversions, putting LEDs in models, and decided that his whole army should glow with tremendous power. It’s good stuff.

That’s All Folks!


4 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 8

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