Hello everybody and welcome to What I Learned on the Forums This Week with your host…Me!!
Bricks Ruined Warmachine, Damnit!
The Brick as a tactic has existed since Mk. I and yet now in the wake of the whole Hardcore Bitchfest (see last weeks installment) it has suddenly been declared unsporting by the Forums more moronic members. Hey guess what guys? Some people play Brick lists because they’re a legitimate tactic and fun! In a tactical wargame where I want to have fun I’m allowed bring whatever the fuck I want to a tournament. If you don’t like my tactic than bring a counter list or else just fuck off. As an avid Troll player this talk pisses me off. One of the main tactics for Trolls is the Brick and I don’t appreciate people declaring that we’re unsporting or that we should suffer a double loss because we played one of our factions most common tactics. Even God’s on my side for this one, so everyone else can just shut the fuck up. Right Father Jack?
Let’s Just Pre-measure Everything!
This isn’t a dig at the person who started this thread. That was fine. They were curious what people think would change in the game if pre-measuring were allowed in Warmachine. My issue lies with several of bizarre responses that came up. The weirdest shit came in the form of comparing Warmachine to other completely different game systems and then using that as evidence for why pre-measuring would be fine. All cards on the table here, I think pre-measuring is shit but I don’t hate that other games have it. I just don’t play them. That said, even if I supported the idea it’s still stupid to compare Warmachine to a hex-based wargame. They’re completely different! I love hex based wargames but saying that since you can premeasure in those games, via counting hexes, and they are still fun does not support your point that it would be fine in Warmachine. If you can’t see the difference between a hex grid and a measuring tape than you should get some help.
What if we Remove All the Luck?
In a similar vein to the above thread someone posted up a proposal for removing all of the random-ness from the dice and assuming that all rolls are average. This sparked off a bizarre discussion about randomness in warmachine only a fraction of which was worth reading. Crazy highlights include declaring that it is unfair if your assassination fails because of one bad die roll and the classic declaring that a lucky player can beat a ‘vet’ because of crazy dice. I honestly cannot understand people who dislike fundamental mechanics of the game and this takes the cake for questioning the basis of the game. Once we start questioning rolling dice where the hell do we end up? There is a game out there to suit all of your pre-measuring no random desires. That game is Chess, go play it please and stop vomiting your crazy all over my Warmachine.
The Ret Forums Will Complain About Anything
So a new ruling was made about the Houseguard Riflemen UA and I have to say I’m impressed by the response from Ret players. It takes real guts to simultaneously complain about a ruling nerfing a model and declare that the model is basically not worth playing anyway. That the ruling is even a nerf is somewhat debateable, even if it is it’s not much of one, but even still who cares if a unit that apparently no one plays gets a slight nerf? Has anything changed for the majority of the Retribution community because of this ruling? I somehow doubt it, certainly not enough to warrant the extent of the complaints its received. Extra points in this case for just flat out declaring that the Infernals are wrong. I gotta say Ret forums you guys are gutsy motherfuckers. You’re fucking wrong and kind of dumb but at least you’re really committed to that.
Hero Thread: Smashing eHaley, by Thamarite Merc
This isn’t the greatest tactical discussion thread ever. There are some rules errors and at least one person in it is kind of a moron but it’s attitude alone makes it deserve a mention here. While we’ve been assaulted for weeks with threads bitching about Haley2 and how broken she is someone on the Merc forums decided to start a thread where people could actually discuss tactics for beating Haley2 and Stormwall. No bitching, no moaning just tactical list discussion. Even if the end product doesn’t always work this is the sort of shit I want to see on the forums more often. This is what genuinely contributing looks like and that’s why it gets a shout out here. Well done!
Thanks for reading everybody and tune in next week for more brilliant advice from the Forums!