Hello again! Unfortunately this weeks installment is a bit shorter than usual since I had a cold for most of the past week. Sorry but I hope you enjoy what there is!
The Mule is Better than Conquest
This thread man, I don’t even know. It wandered to all sorts of weird places and committed the greatest sin of all: directly comparing parts of models. I read an almost page long discussion of which gun is better: The Mule’s steam cannon or the Conquest’s main guns. Seriously. The gun on an 8 point model and the gun on a 20 point model were compared as if equal because they both have Critical Devastation and we all know that things with the same critical effect are basically the same. I know you’ve noticed how Madrak’s axe and Absylonia’s claws are basically the same thing since they both have Critical Grievous Wounds. I’m not sure how I can explain how comparing one part of a 20 point model to one part of an 8 point model from a different faction is a waste of time. If you can’t see that for yourself than may God have mercy on your soul.
Troll Players are Whiney Little Shits
I try to at least pretend to be nice or tongue in cheek in these posts but my patience for the Troll forums is quickly fading. Things were looking up. Someone finally started a Grim2 thread and even though there was one horrible thread of pointlessly comparing Gators and Warders things were going well. Then Trolls did really well in the Adepticon Hardcore and shit got weird fast. A thread that started out as a ‘yay Trolls did well’ quickly moved on to ‘Hardcore isn’t a good measure of faction strength’ all the way to ‘Trolls aren’t competitive.’ Seriously guys? The Troll forums need to stop being obsessed with how terrible Trolls are and make an effort to actually improve their gameplay. There are no meaningful tactics discussions on the Troll forums. It’s just people bitching about the same old shit. You’re not being realistic you’re being dumb little shits. Go out, write some lists and play some goddamn games!
Mercenaries Aren’t a Faction
I often find it weird what remnants of Mark I still linger around. Terms like Mini-Feat or people issuing Run or Charge orders instead of Run/Charge orders. Then there are the perceptions. Mercenaries weren’t really a proper faction in Mark I. Releases were rarer for Mercs. No new Mercs models were released in Apotheosis and in Legends Mercs were the only faction to not get a new Warcaster. These were dark times but they’re also long gone. Still the idea that Mercs aren’t a real faction persists despite Mercs getting similar levels of releases to all the other factions. Sure we didn’t get a Battle Engine but we have one on the way and that was only because Mercs are the worst selling faction and PP didn’t want to release a Merc battle engine in case the whole huge based models thing tanked. Sometimes these things are just said as jokes but I saw someone actually state that he doesn’t expect Mercs to get a light cavalry unit until two years from now. So far I have seen no indication that Mercs won’t get a cavalry release in the next book and even if that does happen don’t forget that Mercs are getting a second goddamn colossal. We’re not Minions guys, there’s no need to think that PP hates us.
Everyone’s a Cheater
This little fact was a bit of a surprise to me but apparently anyone who can play a 50 point army with a good amount of infantry in the time required for tournaments must be cheating. It’s totally impossible to activate all of your stuff in 7 minutes without cheating, probably quite a lot. The specific examples given by this poster were pretty amazing. Some of them were obviously cheating, like not letting your opponent see the dice you just rolled, but didn’t actually seem to add a substantial amount of time to your turn. My favorite though was demanding that before you activate a unit you have to check command range to each of the models in the unit to see who is in formation. You must then do all of that again after moving them to make sure everyone is still in formation. I guess if you were to do all of that it would take forever to activate all of your models but for those of us who maybe just play the game that’s not a problem.
Some of you may be aware that Walter won Adepticon’s Hardcore this past weekend playing Baldur2’s Theme Force (technically correct may be the best kind of correct). Almost none of you will be aware that I absolutely love Baldur2 and so this brought me great joy. What’s even better is that Walter has seen fit to write up a tactica thread on how to play Baldur2’s Theme based on his extensive experience playing it. I will confess that I have so far only had time to skim it but it’s been brilliant so far and is definitely worth a read.
Keep calm and forum on.