What I Learned on the Forums This Week 3


 And here we go back down the rabbit hole!

Bandwagoners are the Greatest Enemy of All!

You know what sucks about getting an awesome new model that is totally fun to play and brings a lot to your faction? Other slimy players from other factions will want to play with your new toy! People will spend their hard earned money on stuff for your faction! I mean don’t they already have a faction why would they want to experience the fun of playing other models than the ones they already have? Worst offenders: people switching to Mercs for Galleon and people switching to Circle for Lady Goat. I mean why didn’t they do it earlier?

Okay, in all seriousness now. If you find yourself writing a post about how annoying it is that your faction is cool and people are now starting to play it please do me a solid by grabbing the back of your underwear and pulling up in a sudden and vigorous manner. Cheers, appreciate it mate.

The Best Warbeast in the Game isn’t What You Think

I’m not sure what I expected from this thread but it was not what I got from it. Usually this sort of stuff is just a bunch of people arguing for the same 3 models with no real point. It’s a popularity contest with no real analysis. This time though I learned some serious truth about the game. Firstly, and this is a biggy, I learned that Legion beasts aren’t very good. I know I was amazed but the truth didn’t stop there. I learned that Stingers are the best lesser in the game because Bushwhack is better than Tenacity. Let that one sink in for a moment. The single most important thing this thread taught me though, was that Ravagores are bad. They’re bad because they’re MAT 5, RAT 5 and only have Fury 4. Not even in consideration for best beast, probably not even a good beast. So in conclusion, Legion is the worst Hordes faction for running beasts because their beasts are shit. This year look out for my Absylonia list with only Stingers. That’s some secret 2013 tech for you, enjoy it.

I’m so terrible it makes me vomit fire.

Colossals Are in Every Way Better than Gargantuans

Basically, Gargantuans exist so that Hordes players didn’t feel like they were neglected. They obviously were never going to be any good so they were just made to soothe egos and that’s why they’re so much worse than Colossals. These sorts of comparison threads baffle me in the extreme and not just because people make hilariously outrageous claims. They confuse me because the arguments being made feel like they come to me from the Twilight Zone where they play Harmachine and Wordes or something like that but with a more clever name. The thing that annoys me most about these threads is that they are pure theorymachine nonsense with no real concept of the game. Slight tangent, what I feel is the difference between Theorymachine and Dojo:

  • Theorymachine: An argument of escalating points with no bearing on reality. In not fancy pants words: when at least two people are arguing about a theoretical game of Warmachine in which they each counter-point introduces a new model/unit as a counter. Ex: ‘My Stormwall can wreck your Colossal’ ‘no way, I’ll just bring a screening unit to block your huge base’ ‘My Gun Mages will kill your screening unit’ etc…
  • Dojo: Planning and discussion of specific lists with a general concept/plan for how the list will play on the table. Extra points for actually intending to play your list and see how it does.

Tangent aside my new rule for dealing with discussions of colossals and gargantuans is if there isn’t any actual play experience behind the argument it’s a waste of space. We’ve already exhausted the available theory on all of the Gargossals, now produce tabletop experience or shut up.

Skarre2 is Basically the Worst Thing

I’m not sure I have jokes to make about this thread. It blew my mind like an atom bomb of truth. Basically any player with any skill will automatically see through all of Skarre2’s tricks. Her spell list is basically pointless. It lacks a damage buff for one to make up for pillowfisted Cryx models meaning she’ll never crack high ARM. She’s got a ton of defensive spells that won’t help her in the attrition game and everyone sees the Perdition assassination coming so it will never work. Black Spot is bad because you have to roll to hit any enemy model with it first. Basically the worst Debuff ever. She’s terrible I don’t know why anyone would play her. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go repeatedly smack my head against a wall since I hear walls are overrated and foreheads are definitely OP.

Cryx: Where awesome casters can be bad.

Hero Thread:Assessment of the Razor Boars based on in-game experience

Someone started a thread in the Minions forums about their actual play experience using Razor Boars with various warlocks and how well they performed. It’s really well written, well argued, and presents some interesting ideas on how to use the much maligned Minion lesser. The best part about this thread is that after the OP it remained relatively positive with people offering suggestions and ideas. People actually using models and deciding based on play experience if they’re good or not. It was amazing to see. I recommend you go read.

These guys might not be as bad as most people think.

Apparently the rabbit hole is pretty deep. Keep exploring fellow Forumites!


3 thoughts on “What I Learned on the Forums This Week 3

  1. Just a suggestion, you should link to the good threads (but not to the ones you crap on since that is only going to make them worse and get them locked).

    On to article – I have a friend who plays failBlaize a Constance Blaize list that was written for him as a challenge to make a terrible list. I’ll have to see if he’s interested in playing against Absylonia with all stingers. I only have two though so I’ll have to use proxy shredders.

    I applaud your ability to talk about Skarre without mentioning her great rack. It is a skill I have yet to develop.

    • That’s a good idea about linking the Hero Threads. I don’t link the normal threads because I don’t want to just call out specific people. It’s the same reason I don’t usually directly quote threads (awesome cat thread excluded).

      I expect a full battle report for Absylonia with all Stingers vs. failblaize, I’m sure it will be epic.

      I came so close to making the obvious Skarre joke and then just didn’t do it. It seemed to easy.

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